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I fell in love with someone I cannot have

and he cannot have me. Not right now and probably not ever. We are both married, and please don't bash, it is not like we went out and had sex or anything. We have just become friends thru converstation and we connected so much that I am realizing that I am falling for him and based on his actions he was falling for me as well. I don't know what to do, we are both not really in love with our spouses, not like we should be anyways, but we will probably both stay out of a sense of loyalty to our families esp. our kids. We both overdo the politeness to ensure we don't discuss our feelings that way we can delude ourselves into pretending it is not happening. I never planned on this, but it is so hard not to be able to do anything about it. Has anyone ever dealt with this before or gotten past that person? Need some different perspectives please!


Asked by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I am in the same situation...I am married and he is dating someone. Neither one of us loves the person we are with but it is still something that can not happen. I am afraid I will get hurt in the end so I am ending things w/ my husband because he cheats anyways. The guy and I are just friends. All we have done is text.

    Answer by agrafel at 4:40 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Stop talking to him

    Answer by amazinggrace83 at 4:19 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • You need to end the relationship with him totally. And if you are going to stay with your husband you may as well try to reconnect with him. You married him so you loved him at one point maybe you just need to rekindle the marriage and feelings you once had. You say you think you love this other relationships are always "exciting" but at some point the newness wears off. So stop talking to him and put that energy into your relationship with your husband.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Honestly,and people don't wanna hear it, you need to cut it off! If you have no intention in leaving your husband, your setting yourself for a deeper heartbreak! The longer you stay involved, the stronger your feelings will become and I don't see how this is going to end on a good note. It's very hard I know, but the energy your putting in this other man is better to be put toward your husband and you.. I understand this other man is making you feel good but unless you plan on giving up your marriage and hurting your children, your waisting your time !


    Answer by anichols1 at 4:33 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • either leave your husband or end the other. it's not fair to either of them.

    Answer by mkdirector2011 at 4:28 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • i think the best way to get past/over this would be to stop communication with this person but of course it will be hard only time will make it better Good LuckMOMMY!


    Answer by kylansmommy09 at 5:32 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • "hide" this all you want, and the other dude too. WE all have been there and know whats coming. But if you have a "good man" a good father and provider.... be prepared for a custody issue. just like many others... its a type of cheating that YOU would not appreciate. But hope its worth 2 families tore apart.

    Answer by kkbird at 6:08 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Move on. It's the best for all parties involved.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:43 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • You are emotionally cheating. The door is only open for you to fall for someone else because you opened it.

    Be careful, there could be bad intentions on this man's part. It is not hard for a smart man to know what to do or say to get a woman to fall for him. Not hard at all. He has probably "said" the right things to you . . made you feel special, important . . blah, blah, blah.

    Please know that many men know about this and avoid it because they are married. If they are married and doing the courting, then they have intentions.

    It may be time for counseling.

    I know this sounds harsh, but it is the truth . . . . don't let yourself melt or be played . . .it will only hurt you and your family,.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 4:56 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • If you've become emotionally involved your spouses will eventually notice.

    Answer by meooma at 5:10 PM on May. 11, 2011