And boy do I really need to vent. Some of you may have read my previous post about ppd on here. Well I talked to my OB-GYN last week when I went in to get some results from a leep that was done about me having some signs of PPD. He told me I would have to talk to my primary doctor about it. Well ok so I made an appointment and went there just to find out that they couldn't see because my insurance for some reason was canceled earlier then it should have been. (yes I got state help while I was pregnant, I needed it because of complications that took me out of work). Fine so they gave me information to go the mental health in our town. I went there today just to be told that they couldn't see me unless I thought that I would hurt myself and then they would have to stick me into a hospital for a few days observation and treatment. Umm shouldn't they want to help before it got that far. Why would they want to take the chance of me harming myself or my child??? God forbid it actually got that far. Any how I finally got an appointment with our good Sheppard clinic who I called and said they would see me and try to help but that wont be for another month.
I am so sick of not feeling normal. It is getting to the point where it is actually affecting my parenting. I loved holding my son and playing with him and I still do love him unconditionally and at this point know for a fact that I would never hurt him. But sometimes I just feel like not wanting to have much to do with him. I have to force myself at those times to get up and go to him. That scares me.
What seems to be making it worse it that you get told that if you start having these kinds of feelings to seek help. Well that is what I am trying to do and I am literally begging for it and every time I get told no I feel so much worse. Thanks for listening and to everyone who has commented on my previous post thanks for the encouragement.
Answer by Nanixh at 6:10 PM on May. 11, 2011
Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 5:59 PM on May. 11, 2011
Answer by spitfire06 at 7:04 PM on May. 11, 2011