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My daughter is not handing in assignments and is in very high level classes. She does not care. What should I do?

My daughter is not handing in assignments and is in very high level classes. She does well on tests, but is just not doing the work. I have spoken with her SO many times... she is not listening. The only extracurricular activity she does is on Wed. til 6. I know that's not holding her back. She is up late at time giving the appearance that she is working. I am really about to do something extreme, like send her to boarding school. I have almost lost my voice from talking and enforcing. She does not care. What should I do? Keep in mind she does VERY well come test time. Weird, huh?

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amillimom

Asked by amillimom at 4:54 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • sounds like my oldest. He aced tests but refused to do homework. Unfortunately homework is a required part of the grades you get. Life is tough. It isn't Burger King..you don't always get it your way. Take away whatever is important to her, cell phone, house phone, computer, TV, going to the malll...whatever it is she loves. Simply tell her you are not going to talk yourself sick anymore. These are the rule..your grades will be a XYZ minimum or you w2ill lose ABC until it is. Then stick to it. Don't tell her you will do something and not follow thru. The minute you do you will lose all effectiveness in discipline with her.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 5:05 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • She's probably so smart that she is bored with doing the work. If she is doing well on tests, that is good. If she wasn't doing the work and failing tests, that is worse. She isn't being challenged enough academically it sounds like. You need to be more involved at the school level. Communicating regularly with her teachers, checking her planner and HW daily, and making her accountable is what you should focus on. Trusting her word is not enough. It's good that she is so smart, but she still needs to do the work. Have a parent/teacher conference with your DD there and come up with a plan that will be implemented at the school to help her excel. Working together with the school is key to your child's success.
    goinginsane1

    Answer by goinginsane1 at 5:12 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Every thing she loves in life take it away ,cell phone, phone privileges,TV Computer axes. Games, Going places,her door to her room. Every thing .

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 5:32 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Maybe she's cheating on her tests? I used to do that when I took AP Government in high school. I was so confused with the classroom work and assingments that I just gave up. The teacher was super, very trusting. We took advantage of that and we all cheated during the tests.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • My SS is having that problem. Only he isn't exactly gifted, and really only excells in math. In our case the problem is his BM. She puts her education ahead of his and doesn't do things like check his homework. So, he is averaging about one missing/late assignment per week. His grade/mark on his report card for Turning Work on on Time was an N=seldom displays successful behavior. I just about hit the fan when I discovered that he had yet another missing assignment last night. He doesn't care. It is because she doesn't care. She has also taken him late to school for 14 days so far this year. Could there be a connection?
    cont...
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 10:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Now, if your daughter is doing the work and you are doing your part to make sure she is taking to the classroom and then she neglects to turn it in then you need to step it up by communicating daily with the teacher and having prompt at home consequences.
    I had a student like this once. With persistence and a daily chart to take home and a lot of school to home communication she was on the honor roll by the end of the year.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 10:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Oh, the reasons my student was not turning in her work had to do with some things that she was feeling with regards to her home situation. There is usually more to the story than you think with Tweens.
    PROGENITOR

    Answer by PROGENITOR at 10:30 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • she's definitely not cheating.
    amillimom

    Answer by amillimom at 10:31 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • i really appreciate your replies! my main concern is getting to the bottom of why. she is so bright. i am enraged at this whole situation. i have asked and asked her if there is something going on that she needs to talk about- her answer "no". i asked her if it's too much work; her answer "no". i have taken privileges away; she aloofly says "ok, that's fine." with an accepting tone of voice.
    amillimom

    Answer by amillimom at 10:32 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • she is a very good kid: kind, very well mannered, far from spoiled, very friendly, outgoing and creative. kids, adults, animals love being around her. we do not argue. i have explained to her that right now the most important thing and one of the easiest things to do is her homework, and the rest is cake. we had a long discussion. actually, i did all the talking this evening. she was balling her eyes out. i am like, "child, please tell me what is g.o.i.n.g on???" she says she is really disappointed in her decisions. her teachers are giving her a chance to make up all the work, which i am grateful for. from everything i have instilled in her head today, i think she realizes the severity of this. i hope it sticks.
    amillimom

    Answer by amillimom at 10:32 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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