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2 Bumps

What's appropriate visitation for a 10 month old in NC for a noncustodial parent in NC?

Dad left 6 times during the firt 3 months. He moved out prior to my maternity leve being done. I have been the primary caregiver for my son. Dad wants 50/50 custody. I am having a difficult time getting my head and heart aroung the idea of days or nights away from my son. I don't want him to damage our son ie, seperation anxiety or cause attachment issues. Dad see's his son for 12c hrs a week. 2 hrs Tues and Wed and 8 hrs on Sat. He wants Tues and wed 5:30-7:30 and alternating weekends Fri at 6:00 PM till Sunday morning and then the alternating week Tues and Wed same and Sunday for 4 or 6 hrs. What is appropriate so I can prepare emotionally?

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Marcine333

Asked by Marcine333 at 9:49 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • Most judges won't rule for overnight visits until at least a year but it varies by state.

    also in most states, custody and visitation are 2 seperate decrees.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:51 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Every other weekend, every Wednesday evening, and about 6 weeks in the summer.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:52 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • You should get full custody and you can say that he has left you many times and your child knows you better. dont let that fool take him!
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 9:53 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • My sister has twins and their dad gets them 3 weekends each month from fri- sun.. They are turning one the end of this month and the overnight/ visitation has been in place since they were about 4 months old.. The dad also gets them for 4 hours during the week he does not have them over the weekend.. It works great for them, she worried at first but he is a great dad and she knows that..

    The twins know who daddy is and have not had any separation issues.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 9:55 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Dad see's his son for 12c hrs a week. 2 hrs Tues and Wed and 8 hrs on Sat.


    If your going to court, ask for this schedule. It is fair and it doesn't take the baby away from you, the primary parent for a lot of time. I don't think the schedule that the second poster says is fair for the child. At least the father is trying, that is more than most women get.


     

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:58 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:59 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Are you nursing? If you are nursing they will wait until your son is weaned for overnights.
    I know this is hard to hear right now, but you want your son have to a great relationship with both of you, and you and his dad to be a great dad. You all will adjust to what ever schedule is decided on. :)
    Sofiabug

    Answer by Sofiabug at 10:00 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Yes I am nursing. I do want his Father involved but I am concerned Dad has not been present alot for his son moving out 6 times he was not in the same room as me after the child was born so not to disrupt his sleep. I did all the feedings every 2 hrs and cotinue to gladly without compplaint. I love being a Mom unfortunately Dad does not like to compete for Mom's attention. It's very sad to me. But I am more concerned his interest in 50/50 is to avoid child support and he does not want the title dead beat dad. I just want him to do right by his son. Leaving the way he did was not thinking about his son. I will nurse until the baby is done. Dad wants me to express milk for overnights thar's a lot of milk.
    Marcine333

    Comment by Marcine333 (original poster) at 10:10 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Good luck.. you will have better luck if your are not in a small town or rural county. God alone knows what a judge will decide if you somewhere like Robeson County. You are probably right and Dad probably is trying to get out of child support. Try not to get to upset, its not happening right now :) it will hopefully be ok. You guys have broken up six times since your little guy was born? Something in writing would be great for you and your little guy so you have stability. Do you have a lawyer? You really need one.
    Sofiabug

    Answer by Sofiabug at 10:19 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • i would get custody and grant him visitation rights.. 12 hours a week is fine.. if you feel you owe him more do 12 hours alternating days on the weekend (one week sunday, the next saturday) and 5 hours wednesday.. thats basically what my brothers schedule was for his son.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 12:16 AM on May. 12, 2011

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