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Really need support right now.

I just lost my husband recently. He was coming home from work and a tractor trailer ran a red light. We'd only been married two years. Now, I just found out I'm pregnant. As if this wasn't enough, we never had DS's birthmom's rights revoked like we were planning to do later this year. She is now contesting for custody of him after not seeing him for six years. He's seven years old. He doesn't even know who she is. The courts have placed him with his grandparents until it is decided what is best for him since my in-laws have evidence that she was was abusive when she was around and because she has the issue of abandonment against her. Neither of us are allowed to see him outside of court until a decision is made and it kills me not to have him in the next room at night, especially when I'm all alone in my own bed. I've lost my husband and my son and now I'll have to raise this baby alone. I'm so scared and whenever I think about it my chest hurts so bad. I can't stop crying, I have no appetite, and I have chest pains all the time. This is so hard and I feel so alone. I lost my more than a lover. I lost my best friend, my confidante, my support. He was my shoulder to cry on. What can I do now when that shoulder is gone? I don't even have my son to hug and to distract me. We should be getting through this together but he's been taken from me instead. I can't do this on my own. I'm just not strong enough. How do I explain to my child why her daddy and brother aren't here? My whole world has been ripped out from under me and I'm drowning. I don't know what to do.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • That is so much to have happen to you!! :(
    Do you have a pastor to talk to? Or a counselor?
    You can get through this, what a blessing to have your and his child to hang on to. :)
    I so wish I had real advice, but all I can offer you is prayers.
    I am so sorry this is happening to you.

    Answer by Sofiabug at 10:57 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • I'm so sorry!  Hugs to you.

    I hope everything works out for you and your son. 


    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:07 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • So sorry sweetheart. My best advice would to be talk to someone about your feelings such as a counseler, for grief of your husband especially. Find a group or something to go to where people understand what you are going through with the death of your husband. As for the son, I think that you should try to get a lawyer involved. It is not worth fighting for yourself, and you need some type of support system. If I was your friend, in all honesty, I dont know what I would say to you because I cannot even imagine the pain you are going through. And I would be afraid I would say the wrong thing. Someone outside of your inner circle, preferably with alike experiences. And it sounds to me that if any judge was smart, they would grant you custody because you have been the one supporting him since pretty much day one. Best of luck to you and consider my prayer said.

    Answer by indysownlilbit at 11:07 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • why aren't you allowed to see him? that doesn't make since you didn't abandon him. is that what the grand parents requested? I agree you need counseling as well as legal counseling since you've been there in that child's life and raised him. I'm sorry for your loss. but you need to take care of yourself I realize it's hard but you have a baby growing inside of you !!!! the most precious gift that your Husband could have give you and you need to take care of your baby.stork


    Answer by traren at 11:12 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • First: (((((HUGS))))) about a million times.

    Second: I strongly suggest getting your son a guardian ad litem (GAL) or court appointed special advocate (CASA). Both are advocates for the child's best interests. Most GAL are pro bono, and CASA are usually volunteers with 1-2 cases at a time.


    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:16 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • It was his Biological mom's request, claiming that we had not allowed her to see her son and that I would brainwash him into thinking she was a horrible person. We never said she couldn't see him. We said we wouldn't drive her and she had DH's number which never changed, but the judge decided to honor her request. He restricted her too do to the evidence we had against her. His parent's lawyers are representing me and they have been ordered not to discuss the case with or around DS. They tell me he asks about me all the time and tell me he's upset he can't see me. He is in therapy but he's so confused because his daddy's gone and now he's not allowed to see me. He's so upset because he feels he's lost his family too. :,(

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:23 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • The guardian ad litem is a great idea!!
    Lots of prayers for you. Again, I am so sorry you are going through this. :(

    Answer by Sofiabug at 11:30 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • I'm so sorry for your loss.
    Right now your son probably feels as though he has lost both of you.
    I hope that everything will work out for you. You're the only mother he knows.
    What does he grandparents say about it.
    Did your husband leave a will with his request?
    He doesn't need to know what is going on, he is too young.
    I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:12 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • talk to a pfofesional
    YES YES I undersatand YOU What ever its is your situation Always THINK THINK and have a
    ¸.•´¸.•*´¨) ¸.•*¨)
    ¸.•´ (¸.•´ * Happy Thursday !!

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 12:51 PM on May. 12, 2011

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