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How do I talk to my son ,to becareful with this fast moving girl?

He has never really dated a girl . He has friends. This girl likes him and has been calling him ,and wants to go out. But to me she seems like one of those girls that like to move a little quick. And my son is too young for Quick. He is 13 yrs old. How do I talk to him without sounding too much like a nag, or someone he has to hide things from.

help. please

Answer Question
 
incarnita

Asked by incarnita at 11:20 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Level 14 (1,386 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • I would say "Son, you are only 13 and too damn young to be going out with anyone. Focus on school." My daughter is 14 and is not allowed to go out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Have an honest conversation with him. If you forbid the relationship it will go a LOT farther, a LOT faster than if you say nothing. I'm NOT saying to say nothing, but you DO need to talk with him about sex and what you see her doing.

    This is such a sticky situation. Good Luck!
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:29 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Let him go out. If you force him to NOT date in anyway he will sneak around.

    BUT BE A MOM!!!!

    Set ground rules. For example you or the girls parent drives them to dates, no being in the room with the door closed, curfews, and tell him that you DO NOT want him having sex. Tell him WHY. There are BOTH physical and emotional reasons NOT to have sex at a young age. And contrary to popular belief more than half of teens are NOT having sex. Those that do not admit to open relationships with their parents who TALK TO THEM ABOUT SEX and WHY they want them to wait.

    Then tell him that if he DOES go against your wishes it is important that his partner is tested if she has had ANY kind of sex before and it is HIGHLY important to protect himself from STDs and her getting pregnant by using condoms and other forms of protection.

    GOOD LUCK MAMA!!
    miasmommy21407

    Answer by miasmommy21407 at 11:34 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • Time to get specific on what his dating rules are. Start by saying you've noticed this girl is really into him, and it's time to talk about what he wants out of dating while he's still a teen.

    Do you have a specific age that various activities will be allowed at? In my family it's dances and group-only outings at 14 (no being alone together allowed), and one on one dating can begin at 16, though group stuff is still highly encouraged.

    Talk about curfews, amount of time with a girl that won't interfear with studies, or other important friendships and activities. And yes talk about your family standards for intimacy.
    Dkhilly

    Answer by Dkhilly at 11:39 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • don't forget to discuss consequences of sex, like pregnancy and child support!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:24 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • You start by telling him that the house rules are that he cannot date until he is ____ years old. Then start talking about sex, responsibilities, fatherhood, etc.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:40 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Just talk to him about it. Be clear and up front!
    sstepph

    Answer by sstepph at 10:42 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Just be honest with him and tell him that taking his time is a good thing.
    KTMOM

    Answer by KTMOM at 12:38 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I think 13 is too young to "date."
    1smartcookie

    Answer by 1smartcookie at 1:07 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Being alone with a girl/boy, especially one who seems to move fast, is just not a situation a 13 year old should be in. At that age I was not allowed to "date" so much as "hang out" with either mine or their parents there. I will also be chaperoning my son's dates until he turns 15. That's my suggestion. Tell them they can go to each other's houses but must stay in high traffic areas like the living room or kitchen and they must be accompanied by at least one parent on an outing. However, don't hover when you go out. Sit a few rows behind them in a movie theater or do some shopping of your own when they go to the mall. That way he is safe but not stifled and your within reach if anything happens.
    MamaStuart

    Answer by MamaStuart at 4:28 PM on May. 12, 2011

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