Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Please, please help me...

I am married, have been for a year now. But, i have only known my husband for a year and a half. We rushed into a everything because we fell for one another hard and everything about us felt SO right. It still feels that way, i still feel he is who i was suppose to end up with and that we are perfect together.
I got a text from one of my friends, saying that my ex was asking for my number to ask me a question. I didnt give it to him. Him and i were together for almost 2 years. Our relationship was full of struggles. I would never EVER want to be with him EVER again. I am not sexually attracted to him at all either. But him and i shared a very very strong friendship.
Im not understanding this, but for some reason i want to talk to him. Just say hi and see how he is doing. We were very close at one point..i dont hate him at all but i feel like im suppose to pretend to be. He is not worth losing my husband and family over at all...but for some reason i wouldnt mind chatting with him.
Do you think the reason why i think about him often and want to say hi is because maybe of an obsession i may developed for him in the past maybe is still there? Cuz i know i am not attracted to him at all..but we were very close friends. He was all i had for a very long time so we shared a lot together. He was a huge part of my past.
What is my mind doing? Why do you think i want to make conversation with him?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:43 PM on May. 11, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • maybe you just miss the conversations and really want to talk just be clear on what your intentions are from the get go.
    amberpaiz

    Answer by amberpaiz at 11:45 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • No, I have an ex that I talk to on occasion and sometimes I get a hair up my ass to send him an e-mail to see what's up but I would never cheat on my hubby or do anything to upset or piss him off. It's just part of your past.
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 11:46 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • emmyandlisa- i wish it could be that way... but my husband is a very jealous man
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:47 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • i think i miss him. As a person..not "us" just i miss 'him'. He was my best friend! i told him everything. Like i said, its not worth losing my husband over, but i just wish i had the free will to talk to who i wanted to talk to regardless. I don't like ppl putting rules on me. I want my husband to trust me enough to not be threatened by him.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:48 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • how would you feel if your husband told you, he's keeping in touch with his ex-girlfriend, completely platonic. He just misses having his best friend, someone he can talk to? Think about what's going on in your life that makes you think you need to continue a relationship with your ex, at the expense of your marriage? YOu wanting to talk to your ex is only a symptom of something else that's going on in your life/marriage.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 11:57 PM on May. 11, 2011

  • I think you are right. Cuz this just started, i never used to even think about my ex but only every now and then. My husband doesnt really give me the attention im needing... he seems to be happier doing other things like playing football. I have tried to talk to him about this but he claims he is not bothered by my at all and that he wants to spend time with me when he can..but he doesnt make much of an effort.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:01 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I only dated one person before my LP, and we were SO young that there were no major issues or complications. The other person I dated went on to have a career in the military, got married, had a family, and grew from an awkward teenager to the hottest, bulkiest, ken doll looking model of a perfect man. When I saw him again, even though I have been with LP for 14 years now and have a family with him (and he is no slouch to look at either...good shape, good job, good looking), I still felt a little tinge of curiosity. We e-mailed a couple times and I will be honest that it gave me butterflies...he said something that I thought was so sweet and summed up our relationship so well "I know we have our own lives now, but I just wanted to let you know that you meant a lot to me and I relied on you for a lot during the time I had you"

    Thankfully, my LP is not the jealous type at all, and is secure in our relationship to the point cont
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:08 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • that he knows I would never leave, that I am happy with where we are, satisfied with him, happy with our life and kids, etc. and was able to laugh it off as my schoolgirl giggles over the grown up version of the teen I dated a decade and a half ago.

    I think that if you don't talk that it will stay on your mind longer than if you do see what he wants. If you know that you're not going anywhere, it won't jeopardize your family to just talk to him. In fact, it might help you get a little closure. I don't think it would be "wrong" of you to make that phone call...and I don't necessarily think that it would lead to "bad things".
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 12:11 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I had an ex that ended really bad and pretty sudden. Mostly because I was still in love with my now husband. But before we got married I had this urge to talk to him. It wasn't because I had feelings for him or was even attracted to him. He actually messaged me on FB randomly one day to see how I was doing (Im not friends with him on FB) I was shocked. But it was good to get it off my chest and just to chat with him bc it allowed me to move on. It was just an awkward ending and I felt the need to talk to him. We didnt even talk about the past or anything just what was going on now. I think part of it was I kinda wanted him jealous lol...bc I'm pregnant and married to the one I LOVE and he assumed that we were soooo perfect for each other when in reality we were HORRIBLE together. And I left him for my husband and he was extremely mad about that. Whatever. I'm happy haha. Anyways...idk if that helps or not.
    Keeely07

    Answer by Keeely07 at 12:16 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Hey well you need to stop thinking about uour ex cuz it can cause you to lose your husband....wat if your husband had an ex that he xould talk to about everything and saw that he missed this girl. And you found out? What would you do then? You would lose your husband and everything yall have together because of this girl. Its not worth it if you love your husband...just put your husbandshoes on and see whay he would feel.... Why wont you talk to hom about it.?
    LARRYSWiiFE

    Answer by LARRYSWiiFE at 12:28 AM on May. 12, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.