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I caught my husband cheating!!!

I walked in on my hubby with a woman I don't know in our bed!!! I had our newborn baby in my arms ( only 3 wks old ) and our 4 yr old was with me too. I immediately left with the kids. I really didn't want my 4 yr old to see anything. Now he won't stop calling me and showing up at my work and he says he can explain everything and that it is not as bad as I think. With all of my PP hormones I don't know what I should do. I'm afraid I would regret leaving him for good later on when my hormones straighten out. I've never considered myself one of those girls who would put up with this kind of thing but now that I have to face it for real I'm afraid to leave. Also my mom says I should forgive him since he takes really good care of us financially. I don't know what to do!!! Any help would be good my 4 yr old keeps crying for daddy -help

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Asked by Anonymous at 5:17 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (26)
  • he messed up not you.

    Answer by robinalbright at 5:20 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Honey come on. Financially? That is no reason to forgive him! If you need help there are plenty of assistance programs and apartments based on income for mothers like you with kids. He cheated on you right after you had your baby. How emotionally damaging..That has to be one of the worst times ever. I think you might have feelings for him but you have to look at the facts and don't base it on feelings. I think you'll regret going back to him later on.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Are you crazy??? It is not your PP that made him cheat!!!!! If he was in bed with another woman whether you knew her or not then he is a cheater!!!! Don't forgive him and dont go back to him!!!!! He has the finances you desire? Then file for a divorce and he can pay child support!!! Tell him you hope it was worth it!!!! Your mom must be crazy to want you to subject yourself to that!!! No even when the PP passes you will still have to live with the fact that your husband is a cheater!!!!!! Don't go back!!! Don't allow yourself to become a statistic!!!! You did the right thing, protect yourself, protect your children!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:21 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Ugh what an asshole. "It is not as bad as you think?" How pathetic. How much worse can it be to find him f**king another woman in YOUR BED?!?!?!? Seriously, you never have to forgive him but that does not mean that you cannot work through it.

    If you want to work through it than it is your choice, just remember you won't have the trust that you used to have and it is very difficult to have a relationship without the trust in addition to having you hurt him and your family so terribly.

    Grrrrrr..... I can't even think straight after hearing your story. I am going to go bang around some pots and pans in my pregnancy anger towards your jerk off of a husband. My poor computer keyboard is begging me to stop pounding on it.

    Answer by girlneffy at 5:22 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Any man who cheats says its not what you think, but you saw what you saw. Either way he was having sex with another woman, and you with a 3wk old? thats pitiful. Even if he would help you financially, would it really be worth the pain of going through it again? because men that cheat, are likely to do it again.

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 5:22 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Well screw him. He cheated on you.. in YOUR (!!!!) bed.. There is nothing to explain. Its the worse thing a man can do.. and in the own bed is just .. i dont know... if he did it once, he will do it again.

    And your mom .. please excuse me... your mom isnt right in the head... seems like she cares more about $$ than how her daughter and the grandchildren feel. She should go and kick your husbands ass and not helping him.

    I could never forgive him... not because of the kids, much less for the money. He isnt worth one second of your life.

    Im really sorry for you. Dont let him fool you. kick him out of the house and move on with your kids. if he has the balls to cheat on you in your own bed, then its either not the first time or def. not the last time. :(

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 5:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Well, if you two are married he's going to have to PAY UP anyways, so why would you go back to a cheater just because you need the money? Get a lawyer !

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 5:25 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • OMFG I can't believe he would do that to you.. especially PP! I remember the first few weeks PP for me was so sad even though my husband was being sweet and all, I still felt like crying every day. It's not bad as you think? WTF? You just had HIS baby and he's fucking someone else.. in your house, on YOUR BED. Yes, you're very hormonal now, but maybe that's why you want to give him another chance. You deserve better that that piece of shit. And your son is young, he will get over it and I think it's better for him to not be around such a father. I'm sorry for sounding so rude it just pisses me off so bad! I feel your pain, if anything, you can pm me. =[ GL in whatever you do and I hope the best for you and your kids!

    Answer by sweetvietchic at 5:28 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Once a cheater always a cheater. My ex admitted to me that while I was pregnant he had sex with a hooker on 2 occasions!!! WTF!!!!! His explanation was because he is a man, needed sex, I couldn't give it to him so he went and paid for it. The 2 times was because the first one was a blond and it wasn't so good so he tried a brunette thinking it would be better. Needless to say, the 2nd time around, he totaled his car because he was going to the ATM to get $$ for the hooker and crashed into someone. We obviously are divorced, but not only for that, he beat my kids and almost killed my son. (This was a guy I met at church) HA! Lose the loser and get spousal/child support and make him regret it!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:29 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I know I should leave him and the more time I have to think about it the angrier i get. I am not uneducated! I am not ugly! and I am not a golddigger! I can definitely get past this!!! And yes screw my mother - she has always had a soft spot in her heart for his I guess I'm just worried about our sons. I never saw this coming and i feel so stupid!! I'm a child of divorce and it was terrible on me and my brother! I know one thing he sure is going to regret this!! Even if its not until child support court!! Oh and today he basically said if I didn't just forget the whole thing, then he would deny the kids and make me get a paternity test!!! Can u believe this a-hole!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:32 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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