Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Does anyone have a DH or SO that is insistant on talking to an EX? even though they say they are "just friends" and how do you deal with it?

Answer Question

Asked by Mommy-Again at 12:27 PM on Jun. 19, 2008 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • My husband is actually still close to a lot of his exgirlfriends. They will go out for coffee, or come here and hang out while he has the kids. We even had one of his exes stay here for a while after she got divorced. I completely trust him so I have no cause for concern. I am not saying that I don't get a little jealous from time to time, but I think that maintaining your friends is still important within a marriage. You need to have other people in your life and I would actually rather have him with his exes then with his guy friends, because they get into trouble together!! LOL

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 12:32 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • If they have children together, I can understand the communication but if there are no kids, why would he want to talk to them or hang out with them? They are his exes for a reason, right? It's like trying to quit smoking and working at a tobacco store, don't you think?

    Answer by esposalopez at 12:50 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • when i met my SO he was very close to the ex. i was very leary because i had met so many men and they had gone back to the ex. luckily, she is now remarried. she's done some shady things in the past year and they now, can honestly not stand each other. i hate to sound jealous or hateful, but i like it better this way. i believe in boundries and knowing what's "appropriate" after a divorce or breakup.

    Answer by MommyAgain08 at 1:27 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • I'm not quite sure how to answer this. I was/am dealing with similar issues. I think that as long as you trust him and he doesn't give you reasons to think otherwise, it's ok. However, they are exes for a reason and the past should stay in the past. You need to be sure, and so does he, that this is clear. There can't be any doubts on either side or it can go bad very quickly.
    Good luck.

    Answer by Mommy2Riley at 1:29 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • My so still talks to his ex wife. They have kids together, so i guess it ok. But recently her so died and they have been spending a lot of time together. This made me really upset, so i just talk to him about it and now everything is fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:31 PM on Jun. 19, 2008

  • well honey i kno what your going threw or the past 3 year me and baron (my boyfriend) have head fights after fights ater mights ovr him seeing and talking to his ex's its not easy to deal with ! but you have to trust him or atleast util you eel that something is going on! i have bee told to shut up and get over it when i see him kis another girl! and its not easy i it wasnt or my daughter im sure i would have been goine by now! but until he starts acting diffarent or being a dick to you over it then you shouldnt have anything to worry about but i could be wrong ater all they are guys!! LOL

    Answer by lonnia1128 at 1:08 AM on Jun. 20, 2008

  • he needs to leave his past where it belongs...unless he has a child with the ex there is no reason whatsoever to be talking to her

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Nov. 15, 2008

  • They are ex's for a reason. The PAST.

    Answer by JanuaryRayne at 10:56 AM on Feb. 7, 2009

  • I don't particularly like the idea and I am not a jealous person. If I'm out and we happen to run into one of them, I'm friendly as is he, but people's agendas are not always the same. I would not be happy if he met them for coffee, lunch or whatever. Ex MEANS ex. WIsh them well and BYEBYE.

    Answer by grandmalinda707 at 5:56 PM on Mar. 18, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.