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Am I the only one who finds "grandparent's rights" just wrong?

I mean, I get that in some situations they may be needed. Example, a grandmother who has always been a big part of the child's life just lost her son (the child's father) who was divorced or never married to the mother who doesn't know the grandma well. But in most situations where there the parent (s) are stable and taking good care of the children and there is a either a falling out between the grandparent and the parent or they just don't have anything to do with each other, I don't think the grandparent should have the right to turn around and take the kids to court. I personally believe that giving grandparent visitation against the parent's wishes is unconstitutional and it is NOT in the best interest of the child.

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JLS2388

Asked by JLS2388 at 7:05 AM on May. 12, 2011 in Parenting Debate

Level 25 (25,280 Credits)
Answers (25)
  • I refuse to live in a state that grants grandparents 'rights' to my child. She is my and my husband's child, not theirs. His parents aren't allowed to be anywhere near our daughter and if a court said that they were we'd, in all honestly, move out of this country because the freedom that is supposed to be given to all of us would be gone for our family.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 7:17 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I am against them unless one of the parents is deceased or in jail and the grandparent can show an ongoing loving relationship with the child. That is the only way I think they should have any rights. My mom has always said even though she doesnt like my ex she would crawl through broken glass if I died if thats what it took to see her grandkids. She would be nice, stomach whatever he said, did what he wanted, so she could be involved. Why? Because at that point he would be the parent, not her, you have to do things you dont like sometimes in situations like this.
    So unless grandparents want to pay child support, provide medical insurance, and things like that when both parents are alive I think they need to back off.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 7:20 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I'm on the fence about it because those laws saved my life, but I've seen that stuff get nasty around here when the parents and grandparents have a falling out or something. And it's because of those laws that I can't be open about myself to my mom, because I know she would try to take DD from me.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 7:22 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Does the same apply for aunt and uncle rights....if a sister or brother won't allow you to see your children for whatever reason? We could go on and on down the line of family for all this.
    I agree with Zoeyis above. But if I were in the situation where I was purposely keeping grandparents out of my kids lives because they weren't good for them, then I'd hate the whole grandparents rights thing because then they get exposed and I get my ability to judge what is a healthy situation for my kids taken away.
    BeachyBabe

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 7:24 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Parents are the only ones who should have the right to their children.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 7:27 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I think it's the same as so many other things in life - it's not something you can paint with a broad brush and just know and apply the same yes/no response to every case. For me it's something to be judged on a case by case basis.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 7:32 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • i am on the fence. grandparents are important so if the kids have a relationship already and the parent doesn;t want the relationship to continue if their son/ daughter is deceased then i think in that case i think they should continue the relationship.
    lambdarose

    Answer by lambdarose at 7:44 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I agree with the reply above me. It needs to be case by case. I know a teenage boy that was raised by his grandmother from the time he was 4 - 8 because his father was in and out of prison and his mom was a druggie. Personally, I don't think it was a good decision because his paternal grandmother has a lot of health issues and had a very violent boyfriend. Then one of my mom's friends wanted custody of her granddaughter whom people thought poossibly had CF. I'd agree with this Grandma having custody. Her former DIL is a horrible mom and her son was overseas fighting. He had custody of his daughter who was living with his mom anyway.
    leomommy1325

    Answer by leomommy1325 at 7:53 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I am a grandmother and don't believe in rights per se. But I do believe that children need their grandparents. Grandparents provide a different adult dynamic and can be an emotional soft place to fall for kids. I don't like when I hear about adult kids blackmailing the grandparents, saying they can't see them unless they give money, or provide all the transportation, or otherwise just be doormats. I feel this is disrespectful. I also think grandparents should not be intrusive or bossy. They should be a positive influence with their age and experience not an interfering controlling one. The grandparents and parents should honor each other and make all possible effort to get along so the child can have the benefit of the older generation in their lives.
    lilangilyn

    Answer by lilangilyn at 9:28 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • liangilyn, I also feel grandparents can have a positive effect on children however, I don't think they should be able to go to court and get visitation with the children against their parent's wishes.
    JLS2388

    Comment by JLS2388 (original poster) at 9:51 AM on May. 12, 2011

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