Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Will a man who abused his ex wife abuse the woman he loves?

if an abusive man marries a woman he doesn't love, she divorces him, so he gets back with the woman he really loves will he abuse the woman he loves? To this day he still attempts to verbally abuse the ex wife since he can't physically get to her. They also share 2 kids he doesn't pay court ordered child spt for.


Asked by mrsary at 8:42 AM on May. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 19 (7,225 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (28)
  • A man like that that is a peice of crap. I think he will abuse anyone he is in contact with. He needs to be a real man, grow up and take a responsiblity.

    Answer by Ashley-England at 10:46 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • The man I have had experience with in this situation was abusive to every woman he claimed he loved. He was the worst towards his ex wife. I think he really loved his ex which was why he was so angry and bitter toward her. If you are with the man in question please leave now!!!!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:44 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • ummm I'd say yes. an abusive person is an abusive person.

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 8:44 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • He says he doesn't love her, but I'd bet when he married her, he thought he did.

    Frankly, without some serious therapy and anger management classes, I don't think an abuser will change. His victim is not what makes him abuse - it's not about whether or not he loves her, it's not about her at all. It's about his need to control, to destroy, to whatever it is that he is attempting to make happen with his abuse.

    Answer by wendythewriter at 8:45 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • The fact that a man is an abuser has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with how much or how little he loves someone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • abusive people dont change unless they want to and even if they get help its a constant struggle for them to control themselves its sad but its the truth....

    Answer by raeyliNlilysmom at 8:54 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • In my experience yes. I was with my ex for 12 yrs. He did love me though, we had 3 kids together. I left him due to his abusive nature, and failure to provide for us. He ended up with a friend of mine who later broke up with him because he also abused her. He again went with two other women after that, and it ended for the same reason. Usually men who are abusive in any way have issues of their own. They have to actively work on those issues, admit they are abusers, want to change, and all of that or the pattern will repeat itself over and over again.

    Answer by gemgem at 8:47 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • in time yes. My ex and i started out having this magical relationship..he totally swept me off my feet. He and his ex were abusive to each other. After my son was born he became abusive to me. i guess because he wasnt getting the attention from me that he got before..i had someone else that needed it too and he was jealous.

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:48 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I would say he would continue to be abusive. And if you aren't getting your child support. Call in the authorities now. It isn't fair to your kids. And if he is still verbally abusive...then I would seriously question how he treats the children.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 8:48 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Glad to hear you are not with him. They guy I knew still goes at his ex with a vengeance. Whenever he is mad at anyone he takes it out on his ex. I feel awful for her.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 AM on May. 12, 2011