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As a child i was malested by my uncle. pushed aside by my mom and lonely all the time. then i met my x-husband and he beat me almost to death more then once. rapped me and sexualy violated me all the time. my past has caught up to me and put me in major depression. my new fiance is awesome but doesnt understand how my past can ruin my days. my doctor has pit me on prozac for my depression. and anxiety. my question is how do i get my fiance to understand im happy with him but these are things that wil haunt me for life? he thinks i should just forgwt about it. but its not tht easy.

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Asked by mrs.smith2011 at 10:17 AM on May. 12, 2011 in Health

Level 4 (41 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Start couples therapy. Let a professional tell him that while you're happy with him, it isn't easy to get over something like that.

    Answer by CeeCee333 at 10:19 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • You'll never forget all the terrible things that have happened to you, but you can learn to deal with them, maybe you should try councelling? You need to explain to him that it's not as easy as just blocking out the past, if he's as great as you say he is, he'll understand :)

    Answer by kylie_bob at 10:20 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Couples therapy sounds like a good idea.
    I bet he had a fairly easy life, especially compared to yours, didn't he? If that's the case, no, he won't understand. I have a friend who had a really perfect life - she bitched and complained a lot about things, but in comparison, yeah, she was perfect. I, on the other hand, am depressed, and have a ton of emotional issues. Her best advice for me was always "just try and be happy and you will be". She didn't understand that depression isn't just a state of mind that most of us can just lift ourselves out of... it's a chemical thing that some people just deal with, and we can't just "get over it".

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 10:22 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Try counceling together. What happened to you was terrible, and unfortunately you will have to carry it with you forever. I was abused by a boyfriend the entire 4 yrs in was in high school. It has made a lasting impression on me. My husband believes me (my own mom still doesn't) and he is very understanding. I hope you will stay strong and enjoy your life now, you certainly deserve it!! God bless you!!

    Answer by AngieBry at 10:25 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • I agree, couples counseling is best. He needs to be educated on the illness (yes, it is an illness). The more he knows, the better he will understand. Good luck! HUGS.

    Answer by DJsMommy610 at 10:38 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • You can get past this! But you need someone who has experienced what you have been through to counsel you. Those people are hard to find, but they are out there, and the search is worth the effort it takes to find someone. I think you would be wise to wait about getting married until after you have this resolved, because it will affect your marriage, especially if your boyfriend has no understanding of what you are experiencing and have experienced. The best help is often through the churches, and most of the time, there is no charge for the counseling. These are people who have first-hand knowledge via experience and they can tell you what has worked for them. Please don't accept what you've been told thus far as a life-time sentence, because it does not have to be that way. Keep looking and keep asking questions until you find the help you need to overcome what has happened to you thus far in your life.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:40 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • ceecee's right......get him into some sessions with you, maybe it could help him grasp a bit of what you feel. Good luck mama!!

    Answer by Dahis at 10:54 AM on May. 12, 2011

  • Iam truly sorry that you had to experience that. not that it is the same thing, but I'm bipolar and i have depression and medication isn't the only route you should take. I agree with the couples counseling, but you should seek individual therapy as well. You will never fully get over what happen to you, but you can work with someone to help you deal with it.

    I wish you the best of luck. (((hugs)))

    Answer by Patti_Mayo at 10:17 AM on May. 16, 2011

  • Thanks everyone I never knew so many people would have a heart for someone they never met. Kinda hars when my own family thinks I should just forget about all thays happened to me. They think I feel this way for attention. I wish that was the reason but sadly its not

    Comment by mrs.smith2011 (original poster) at 4:01 PM on May. 16, 2011

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