My boyfriend of 5 years has 2 girls (17 & 20) still going to school and living at home for at least the next 2 years. I have an 11 year old daughter, we have been on our own her entire life. She gets along great with him, but his daughters have always been very cool (but not rude) to both of us. We visit on Sundays for dinner, but his girls are usually busy with homework, friends, facebook, etc., so not much time is really spent with all of us together. Although he says he would like to marry/cohabitate, he thinks we need to wait until his kids move out (my daughter and I live in an apartment and would move in with them). He feels it would be too crowded (each girl would still have a separate bedroom) and that his girls would be uncomfortable with us always around. I think being part of a 'family' would be a wonderful experience for my child, and I think his girls would benefit, too. He says there would be no benefits to his kids, and his kids will always come first. Any ideas of how blending our families would also benefit his children, or am I just being selfish?Answer Question
Asked by Anonymous at 12:50 PM on May. 12, 2011 in Relationships
Answer by gemgem at 12:59 PM on May. 12, 2011
Answer by Candi1024 at 1:07 PM on May. 12, 2011
I think the older the kids the harder it is, and it can take years to blend a family. It took more than a year for my daughter to bond with and fully trust and accept my husband, and she was only 5 when we married. If you are getting a cool reception now, then successfully merging into a family might not happen before his girls leave home. If they can be open and accepting, then the benefits to them can be building a stronger relationship with you and your daughter so they will feel bonded with you and won't feel strange when they come home and visit as adults. They could also benefit from having another adult female to talk to about their problems as they launch into their lives, but you have to be prepared for the fact that they may not bond with you that quickly or at all. GL!
Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 1:10 PM on May. 12, 2011
Answer by happymama02 at 2:21 PM on May. 12, 2011
Answer by amber_mom40 at 3:03 PM on May. 12, 2011
Next question overall
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