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Would you step in and do something?

Okay really fast forward! I have a sister who have a 10 year old daughter who has been over my parent's house since spring break which was April 25-29. Okay, my sister has not asked that she come home. I mean she come back and forth visiting my parents, but she never take her child with her, she is "STILL" there. Second, she also have a 17 year old daughter about to graduate. My mom took her last dime to help the 17 year old get her prom gown/shoes, hair, and make-up. I'm mad because my parents have very little money to live on. My dad is battling cancer that is spreading, and it infuriates me to know that she is bumming off of them at their lowest point. She's not working, but claim she start work on May 23rd. Who cares because right now at the moment, she's unemployed. It gets worse ladies.She borrowed 300 bucks from my parents because she claim her daughter won't graduate until she pay off her senior dues. My mom gave it to her because she does not want senior dues to stand in the way of her grandchild graduating. I think my sister is a user, and I wish my mom can see it. Should I step in, or stay out of it? My niece wants to go home, she calls her mom, and her mom(my sister) tells her that she need to stay because she's going to her boyfriend's house, and my niece would be bored there. I think my mom should just file custody. What do you think?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:20 PM on May. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • i would have a chat with my sister for sure
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 2:21 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I would talk to my sister, but it really comes down to getting your mom to stop enabling her. Good luck on that one.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:23 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Being your sister it sounds like you two don't have a very great relationship, and oh yeah I would say something to her and to your mom. That's bullshit, sorry that's how I feel. My sister-in-law is the same way, but I took care of that about a week ago I don't think she would be stupid enough to go to my parents again for money and my parents are well off but it's their money not hers. For your sister to do what she is doing is WRONG!!!!!! You said the daughter wanted to go home....for what? Sounds like your sister is selfish and thinks of nothing but herself............I would talk to your mom first and see how she feels before opening a can of worms and making mom mad. Did she use the 300 for what she said or do you know? GL
    buttonlts

    Answer by buttonlts at 2:26 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I would try to be as supportive to the DAUGHTER as possible. Your parents and your sister are grown, although she may not act like it. It seems as if the child is getting a little lost in the middle. She needs to know that someone is there for her and that they will CONTINUE to be there for her. Please don't let her slip through the cracks like so many others do. My grandparents raised us financially. My mother was an addict and was too sick to work for much of our childhood. The material things were nice, but personally, I felt as if I had no one to turn to. I took care of my mom for the most part, so who was there for ME? I needed that love and support from someone and eventually an abusive relationship and promiscuity found me... or did I find it? IDK... I was down for whatever would make me feel like I was getting attention from someone, even if it was negative. I would express my feelings, but keep the child #1.
    Luvmylilmonkies

    Answer by Luvmylilmonkies at 2:26 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • They can NOT charge you to graduate at a public school. Even if she couldn't afford the cap and gown she would still graduate, she just wouldn't get to walk at graduation!
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 2:29 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • buttonlts, I don't think she used the money for the reason given because she sopose to have gave that money to the school...why is she still buying stuff? I just wish my mom would wake up to her. We once were very close until I started witnessing her using my mom and dad. I have talked to her, but it's useless.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:29 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • www.intervention.com
    If you think shes using drugs, then maybe an intervention is what she needs.
    As for the kids..maybe the best place for them right now IS with your parents...I know its hard to to stand back and let that happen, you obviously care about your parents and dont want to see them being used in this way by your sister..but at this point, if your sister is abusing drugs...this issue isnt about money..its about the kids. They need love and stability. I hope your parents get custody. Poor girls :Good Luck!
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 2:30 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • My mom called her this morning and told her that she was sending her daughter home today, and she had the audacity to tell my mom that she'll be back Friday because she has to get her other daughter ready for the prom. Do you guys think my mom is afraid to say no to her? My fiance' and I think she may be afraid that my sister would get mad.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:34 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Would you steping in change anything? if not then I say leave it alone be there and help your mom out however you can though.
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 2:36 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • We do help my mom out, but how fair is it to me? I'm raising my brother's two daughters, and I have a son. When my mom lend my sister money, she call me and ask if I can lend her money. I tell her to stop loaning money, so she could keep money....simple as that. I know this may sound strange because most of you are probably not going through this, but enough is enough.. I think she should let my sister have it and stop giving her money.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:39 PM on May. 12, 2011

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