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2 Bumps

I'm going to bang my head on the wall!!!

I just started watching my nieces full time while my brother and SILwork. I have kids of my own, 5 actually. I love, love, love my nieces. I really do. But today is day 2 and I want to pull my hair out. The baby 5 mo old, screams a lot. She doesn't sleep much, and she wants to be held all the time. I am not used to that. My babies were pretty content (except for my second born). I could put them in tummy time and they would play for 10-15 min at a time, or I could set them up in a bouncy seat while I cleaned.... she wants to be held ALL the time. I do have a moby, but I also have lingering sciatica from my last pregnancy. So I can only carry her in short burst and by the end of yesterday my leg was just on fire with pain, and this morning it gave out for a brief second, so NO moby today, I'm terrified that my leg will go out while I'm packing up or down the stairs, so nope, not going to happen!! On top of that, my youngest is very jealous. And my oldest niece is so used to being pretty much the only child that she is not adjusting very well to sharing, or being polite, or basic manners. We went to the park and she threw a huge fit because between 2 babies, and 4 other kids, there was just no way I could stand there and push her the whole time on the swings. She is used to getting whatever she wants, and not having share time, toys or attention.

So advice, how do I adjust these girls to our environment? I still have to care for my kids, and my current responsibilities (house, school, kids extra activities), so I really need to find a way to add these two to our schedule and help them adjust to our way of doing things.

Answer Question

Asked by daughteroftruth at 4:15 PM on May. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 19 (7,602 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Not sure I can offer you advice really. It is going to take time. But I would implement a schedule. Especially with that many kids in the house.

    Answer by Shaken1976 at 4:20 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • *encouragement coming your way*

    Give it a couple of weeks. Everyone will adjust. There are no easy, fast solutions either. It's just going to be a matter of everyone learning...including you. Put off as much as you can, or carve out a good section of time several times a day where you can just sit in the floor and actively engage with all of the children. Hold the baby while you play Hi Ho Cherry-O with the others, or something like that. Also, get the children involved in their care and the other responsibilities you have! Assign little jobs that they can each count on doing every day, so that they feel a part of the scene and feel that they are needed.

    Answer by misses_nick at 4:25 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • It will take a few more days for everybody to adjust,, I would ask her Mom and Dad to give her some tummy time and let her try to play alone for a bit each day while she is with them, Are you getting paid? If you are not, I would probably ask them to make other arrangements!

    Answer by kimigogo at 4:28 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I am getting paid. Not much, but enough that it helps us financially, and it doesn't break their pocket book. I have a shedual for my kids, and with 5 kids everything has to be scheduled out. Like meals and snacks are always at the same time. That has been one thing my 4 yr old niece is not having an easy time with. She is used to just snacking whenever she wants and helping herself. Hopefully she will adjust over the next several days. All the kids have assigned daily chores, but the past couple days I haven't really been able to help them get anything done. I am thinking that I may have to restructure individual chores and just make it all group chores. My 4 yr niece and my 3 yr old son do not get along. My son is pretty laid back, but adventurous, and my niece freaks out if he "looks at her wrong"... still not sure what she means by that though!!!

    Comment by daughteroftruth (original poster) at 4:36 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Can you sit down with all the kids and come up with some "house rules" about sharing, turns and whatever else is hard? Can the older one be more included in helping with the younger one/s? If you get the kids imput and they feel they are part of the plan (as opposed to it being handed down on them) they are more likely to follow.

    You could also try to be more positive and start the positive police. The goal is to catch each other being polite and nice. The trick is they have to be sneaky about it. Make a jar and some paper and pencils easy to access (as well as your help writing if needed) and you all try to catch eachother following rules and being nice. THen each day before going home you read all the stuff in the jar. In the beginning try to "catch" them A LOT for simple things.

    Answer by terpmama at 4:38 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Give yourself, and them, time to adjust. It could take a few weeks. It's a huge change for everyone! Keep things positive and praise all the kids whenever you can. GL!

    Answer by whitepeppers at 7:48 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • thanks for the advice ladies, I know it will take time. Today has been hard. The baby screams (not fusses, but screams to the point of gagging) if I put her down at all. as it is, I still haven't been able to get the other kids dinner, or get any chores done. IF she doesn't start doing better soon, then I'm just going to have to tell my sil to make other arraignments. I can't neglect 6 other children all because of one. As it is, I"m about ready to swaddle her up, turn on the vacuum, and just let her scream it out while I made dinner. The kids are all hungry, and I"m at my wits end. I don't understand why any baby would be this needy. I have watched tons of babies in my time, never have i seen a baby this needy.

    Comment by daughteroftruth (original poster) at 8:15 PM on May. 14, 2011

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