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My company host a couple of parties a year. They expect the employees to partipate in these events. I have 2 children 8 and 6. I spend between 40 to 50 hours a week at work and spend 36 and a half waking hours with my children. I really should not count Monday-Friday with my children since we don't get home until about 5:30 pm I make dinner we do homework, then it's showers and then by the time all of this is done it's bedtime. I LOVE my family and enjoy spending as much time with them as possible. This year I put my foot down about 3 holiday parties and told them I will not be attending. My manager is very anger but they are not my family and I don't get paid for it and most importantly I did not marry or give birth to any of them therefore am not obligated to spend any extra time with them. What do you think and how would you handle this?

Answer Question

Asked by twilite2000 at 6:57 PM on Dec. 5, 2008 in Money & Work

Level 10 (412 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I'd do the same.

    Answer by TiffanyLove18 at 6:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Same opinion here girl. Unless my job was family friendly, what does it matter to them how you spend your time out of work?!?!? That is just rediculous. Your boss needs to check herself.....of himself. And do they have a family? Seriously

    Answer by MissHeidi0304 at 7:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Why do they expect you to be at every party? I understand, I would spend time with my kids who I hardly spend time with. Tell them your situation, your setting time aside with your Family and will not be participating. Family comes first, enjoy your little ones now. Good Luck!

    Answer by PinkRose282 at 7:01 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I would do the same. You are doing no wrong by keeping your family top priority. Any GOOD employer would be able to see that. If you don't want to attend you do not have to, it's not like a party is a mandatory thing and it shouldn't be.

    Answer by lilbit837 at 7:04 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Your manager is an idiot.

    Answer by hibicent at 7:08 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • I would demand a Christmas bonus for every party I attend. :O)

    I'm with you, they could suck it!

    Answer by Southerncharmes at 7:14 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Good for putting your foot down!! Your manager doesn't understand which = doesn't care, so why should you?! Spend the time with YOUR family - the ones you love and they love you back!! I got your back, Mamma!!

    Answer by Babylove76 at 7:18 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Do you not want to bring your family alogn to the party? Even so, I'm sure it's not "quality time"... I think you're fine doing what you did

    Answer by LittleMonster22 at 7:23 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Spend time with the ones who fill you up emotionally, not the ones who if they had to would cut your job in a heartbeat without thinking about your circumstances. Unless you are getting a Christmas Bonus of a week's salary, and it is mandatory that you attend, skip it. (I say this b/c when I worked in Corporate Law, we knew we were all getting a Christmas Bonus Check and the party was with Clients and EVERYONE in the office down to the file room Manager (um, yeah, that would have been me at the time) was expected to attend.

    Answer by Dianne1259 at 7:24 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

  • Littlemonster. Can't bring the kids, parties are just for adults. Yes they do give a bonus and this bonus is greatly appreciated but it should be given because I have worked hard and did a good job for my company not dangle it over my head and force me to attend a party I do not want to be at. I like and respect most of my co-workers but 8 or more hours a day is enough. Besides my job requires me to work with people who potentially may have cancer. This can be an emotional roller coaster from patient to patient and this takes it toll. I need the love and comfort of my family to decompress and remind me that there is happiness out there and not just saddness. You all know that company parties they talk about work. I just don't want to hear anymore about work after hours.

    Answer by twilite2000 at 7:58 PM on Dec. 5, 2008

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