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3 Bumps

How do you get over someone you have a child with?

Me & my DD's father were together for 5 years, the last year he went and cheated with someone he worked with. He actually started a relationship with this girl, and claimed he couldnt break it off because her family ran the company he works for, and did not want to get fired. I believed him, as naive as I am. But thing's don't seem to add up. He told me numerous times, he doesn't love her, but yet I found out he brings her around my daughter. When we broke up, he got me my own apartment, and he moved in with his parents, I found out his girlfriend sleeps by his parents house atleast 4 nights a week, is very close to his family as well. Up until last week, we were still physically connected (if you know what I mean), but I told him I need to cut that off because I need to move on, and he swears he doesn't want that, and if I be patient our relationship can get better, as soon as he finds another job. I don't know if I should believe him, or how to get over him. Any suggestions would really help!

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Asked by jojobeans7 at 7:21 PM on May. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (19)
  • You don't!!! You behave as it doesn't bother you and move on. Weigh the pros and cons and decide if your truly fed up.

    Answer by KoolMom617 at 7:27 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Thank you, I actually just made a pro's & con's list, and there are ALOTTT of con's on there.

    Comment by jojobeans7 (original poster) at 7:31 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • he's lied to you before he will again he's cheated before he will again the only thing he's sorry about is the fact that he got caught you should cut ties and move on!!!!! I'm speaking from experience.... and I wish I would have listened when someone told me the same thing i just told you it took me 18 years and lots of hurt nights he cheated on me so many times I lost count and I kept telling myself but I love him even after he turned violent don't stay you deserve better than that and someday you'll find someone that actually loves you and you'll be so amazingly happy that you look back and say "WHY DIDN'T I DO THIS SOONER"!!!! I'm with my "Soul mate" now and I've never been happier or so in love and loved you deserve to be happy and in love with someone that loves and respects you....


    Answer by traren at 7:32 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I was in the same boat a year ago. me and my son's father were together for 4 years and we broke up for about a year and he was living with someone else by then and he never came to see my son or anything. every 2 months or so he would text me and say he loves me and whatever. I used to believe him because he would say that he wanted us to be afamily again and he told me he only loves me. he even told the woman he was living with this and they broke up but after a day he would act all weird so i would tell him what do you want? i would tell him that i want us to be a family and he would just let me down. his girlfriend still runs back to him after all of this (this used to happen every 2 months until up to a year ago seriously) and i finally said enough is enough. i couldn't let him do this to me. he knew i still loved him and i wanted us to be a family. (cont. )

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:34 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • That man is SO full of shit, and I think your hope for a natural family for your child is clouding it. I don't want to make it sound like I think you're crazy for wanting that or that it is an unreasonable thing for someone to want, but he is sleeping with someone else 4 nights a week. I would not be okay being the mother of his child and his "side" piece of ass. Of course he doesn't want you to cut him off and move on, that would mean he only had one woman.

    He left you and the family you two share for someone else. That would be enough for me to wash my hands of him. Aside from that, if he REALLY wanted to move past the cheating, he would STOP CHEATING, and get that job, and move back home, and BE a family rather than making promises of what he would do "in the future" as long as you kept sleeping with him and accepting his current behavior.

    I am sure that it is a painful thing to go through, but he is holding you back.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:36 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I heard from him again after i told him that i was done with his shady, coniving, sorry, dishonest ass and i told him to fuck off. the more i just didn't answer his texts or phone calls the more he was out of sight out of mind. you need to cut him off for you, it isn't healthy and you'll be the one hurting all the time, not him. he wants evereything. don't give him your time or thoughts. just devote yourself to you child and other things that interest you. time is the only thing that works, trust me. you'll be a happier person for this. good luck and i hope things work out for u.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • wow, thank you so much! i truly hope time does heal everything. i feel so betrayed. but your so right, out of sight, out of mind!

    & mom 2-3 girls, that was some tough love you gave me, but maybe I needed that because you definitely put it into perspective! why should i be the side piece! i'm so much more than that! thank you girls!

    Comment by jojobeans7 (original poster) at 7:43 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I hope I didn't sound too harsh...I just feel bad when I see women want their families together (completely understandable), but have the men want to make them accept far less than what they should have to in a good, strong family, in order to have the privilege of being with them after all they have done. He is essentially making you choose between being second best, the secret side woman, etc, or splitting up your family. That is not cool.

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 7:50 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Not a joke but a start. You are better than that.    50 ways to leave your lover  Do not let loneliness make you slip back.


    Answer by sweet11-12 at 7:53 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • He's playing you. He's lying to you and lying to the other woman-what a lowlife he is. End it, quit seeing him, and move on with your life.

    Answer by meooma at 7:54 PM on May. 12, 2011

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