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Hi ladies! I have a custody question.... could you help me out?

Unfortunately, it looks like things aren't going to work out with my fiance, the father of my 3-year-old DD. With his personality, I don't think that shared custody will be a possibility- he'll most likely try for full custody out of anger at me. I was just hoping for some input from ladies who have been through the court system, or just an educated guess on how this will probably go.
If you think you can help, here are the facts: My DD has severe special needs- she has at least 10 doctors & specialists, sees physical & occupational therapists at school, & takes medicine every morning and evening. I have records of each doctor's appointment, with the majority showing that I was the only one there (same thing with the school- he's never been very involved in that aspect). He's unemployed, taking no type of continuing education, has no driver's license, has a record of driving without a license, assault & battery (not involving me or any family member), & has been involved in multiple domestic violence calls with his mother (he lives with her, & she's had both of her other children taken away & custody given to their fathers). He's also been through a rehab program, but hasn't kept up with the NA & AA meetings like he said he would. Oh, I just remembered, he was put in a psych facility for 2 weeks when he was 18 after he started talking about killing himself.
I live with my parents (no records or home problems at all), am in good standing in a registered nursing program, have a license & a car, & make $400 a month babysitting. I have no record or history, and frankly, if needed, several of my DD's therapists would state that I am a wonderful mother to her ( I'm not bragging, honest, it's just what they've told me before).
So, see why things aren't working? He hid his true self & problems from me for so long, & then I thought I could help him. Now, I've tried everything, & I've realized he has to want a better life for himself. I want the best life for my daughter I can give her, & he's not willing to work toward that end. He loves her, & he loves me, but there are just too many deep-seated issues there for him to grow up & be the kind of man we need in our lives. So, ladies, what do you think? Will I get sole custody here? My state has never done a custody without visitations, but I think I can handle that as long as they're supervised... at least until he does something stupid to mess the arrangement up.... which he will. I;m going to be calling a custody lawyer tomorrow, but I was just hoping for some advice and opinions. Thanks so much, & I apologize for the length!


Asked by KA91 at 8:47 PM on May. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 25 (22,129 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Hugs ! It should all work out just fine. It sounds like the courts will have no problem granting you sole custody. Just hang in there and don't let anything that he says bother you. It is just a ploy to scare you. It will go fast and your case hearing will last just minutes. Let your attorney fight for you, give him the facts and not the emotions.... Good luck. :-)

    Answer by LeJane at 8:53 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • You are a very strong and loving mother and he cannot take that away from you! He would have to have substantial proof that you are an unfit mother to be be able to take custody from you. Sounds like you are doing a wonderful job considering all the things you and your child are going through. When it does come time to start going through the court system with him try to keep your emotions towards him out of it, dont let anything he says or does get to you. And that alone is one of the hardest things but one of the most important things, do not let him break you down.

    Answer by Kats86 at 9:17 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Thank you so much! I tried to do the "facts, not emotions" thing here. I'll take all the hugs & luck I can get right now! I appreciate the support more than I can say.

    Comment by KA91 (original poster) at 8:59 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Have all the documents and you should be fine we have sole physical custody of ss and bio has visitation

    Answer by rinamomof2 at 9:52 PM on May. 12, 2011