Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Should I say anything?

My fiancee has a friend who has two little boys one almost 1 and the other is close to 4. The baby is put into a infant seat when in a moving car with only the chest strap hooked. The older child is never buckled in at all not even in a regular seatbelt. I know she has a booster seat for him but she never uses it.

Answer Question
 
XandersMomma07

Asked by XandersMomma07 at 9:01 PM on May. 12, 2011 in Travel

Level 11 (512 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Yes. Or, you could always call the police the second they leave and let them know the route. It seems harsh but if it saved a baby's life...
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:04 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • i agree with misses_nick... also if they are visiting your home when they leave you could walk them to their car and help one or both children into the car and buckle them in. Thats kinda a silents why to send a message across
    Kats86

    Answer by Kats86 at 9:06 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • You'll have to judge if 1) your mentioning something is likely to change the friend's behavior, and 2) the risk of causing an insult between your fiance and his friend is worth the potential that the girl will suddendly be buckled in for each car trip. More than likely, the friend already "knows" that the girl should be buckled (or there wouldn't have the booster), so this doesn't sound like an educational issue to me. I don't know this person at all, but my guess is the friend will not change their behavior, will think of you as being judgemental and it will strain the friendship between your fiance and his friend. Good luck.
    Dr.Donna

    Answer by Dr.Donna at 9:07 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • You should definatly say something! That is so so unsafe :(
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 9:08 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • When the older one was smaller before the baby was born she always strapped him in it seems that she feels that she don't have time to worry about her childrens safety now
    XandersMomma07

    Comment by XandersMomma07 (original poster) at 9:12 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • There is a psychological reality, that when something happens over and over without incident, we know that it is safe-- even if there is still a risk.

    It is also possible that she is tooling around town at 25-35mph and feels "nothing will happen at that speed" or soemthing.

    I'd think if there was a way to report her to authorities, you'd have a better success than as you to her friend, when her defenses would get up, and they might lose that friendship, AND as we all agree is very important, odds of car seats being used because a friend says to do it, probably not too high- at best she might do it once or twice when the friend is watching, but most people won't change unless they really want to OR finally feel the risk. An authority is better to convince of that.
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:20 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I completely agree with Kats and Tracys. Above all, the children's LIVES are at risk, and that outweighs any friendship strain that may be created.
    misses_nick

    Answer by misses_nick at 9:24 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • Tracys2 she does not drive slow at all
    XandersMomma07

    Comment by XandersMomma07 (original poster) at 3:44 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • i agree with one of the other posters walk them to car and "help" buckle the kids in when they leave......instead of looking judgemental you look helpful and the 4yr old will start catching on and buckling up themself hopefuly....good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 10:12 AM on May. 15, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Travel
Searching for hotels online

Next question overall (General Parenting)
Am I alone

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN