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2 Bumps

Am I being fair?

so bio dad has visitation every tuesday 11am-4pm, he never shows up for his visitation. In fact he hasn't seen his son in 5 months. He comes up to the court and to party up in my area, but cannot make it to see his son.

We were in court and he asked the judge for every other weekend overnight. And I asked the judge for him not to have every other weekend overnight until he is consistant with showing up during the visitation he has. The judge definatly agreed with me that he shouldn't get more visitation until he is consistant. I think I was fair. Do you think I am being fair and reasonable?

Answer Question
 
jerseyshorefan

Asked by jerseyshorefan at 9:15 PM on May. 12, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 4 (52 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Very fair!! I think you made a wonderful choice! If it wasn't fair, the judge most likely would not have agreed with you.
    Tarrar

    Answer by Tarrar at 9:17 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Yes, if he can drive to party. He should be able to come see his son.
    How old is your son? Does your ex have family near you? I guess, my concern for bio dad dad, is what can he do with your son for five hours, if he doesn't really have somewhere to go.
    If he had the weekend, he could go and enjoy his time with him, not having to be in the car or somewhere in public.
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 9:23 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • You did the right thing, for sure. It's not fair to the kids otherwise, good job!
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:23 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I think that is completely reasonable. If he can't show up for 5 hours on tues why does he want weekends? Your not completely shutting him down just asking him to prove himself as a father first
    kayslay

    Answer by kayslay at 9:23 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • yes he has family up near where I live his sister lives about 5-10 minutes away from me. and no he isn't getting weekends until he is consistant with showing up every tuesday first then we will take steps into overnight my son is 4 and he had him over night once.
    jerseyshorefan

    Comment by jerseyshorefan (original poster) at 9:28 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Yes. So much easier on the child to have consistency than the amount of time!
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:29 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • It's sad when parents are split up for whatever reason, and it's good he does want time with his son, but I feel you did the right thing. He doesn't sound like a very resposible daddy and I wouldn't feel comfortable handing over my son to his care for a whole weekend/overnight. I'd be worried sick.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:29 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • the thing is he doesn't want anything to do with his son unless its convenient for him. He hasn't seen his son in 5 months.
    jerseyshorefan

    Comment by jerseyshorefan (original poster) at 9:30 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • How many times do you need to post this. You post the same thing every day.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:32 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Yes you are being fair.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:52 PM on May. 12, 2011

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