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2 Bumps

Would it bother you if your SO made less money than you?

It tends to bother me because we are tight and we don't own a house yet. He is 41 and I am 35 and i find it depressing to have 2 kids and not own a house yet nor even have any savings at all for that matter. We don't spend our money on alcohol, drugs and stupidities but some personal finance matter did happen and thats why we still don't have any savings...I am discouraged...he says he dislikes his job and he isn't making much but it doesn't seem to bother him enough because he ain't looking for something else. Also, we have one child now, another one on the way soon and I wanted to stay home longer with the children this time but it looks like I won't have a choice to go back to work soon after because we will run out of money. That is what happened the first time. He says not to worry that he'll find something but he doesn't search at all. And he does help me out with housestuff...but that's not the point...I am fed up of being broke. It doesn't seem to stress him out that much that we don't own a house or that there are many things we can't afford..even regular necessary everyday things we need to be very careful.

Answer Question
 
bianca2422

Asked by bianca2422 at 9:32 PM on May. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,172 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I'd LOVE to make more money than he does, especially if it was me earning more than he does now, as he gets a pretty decent income. We don't own a house or have much saved either and our eldest is grown up already: at uni, and that's really expensive as we have to pay his rent as well as our own.
    judimary

    Answer by judimary at 9:35 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • No. I don't ever look at the money aspect though in a marriage. I look at hours worked. My husband and I both work 40+ hours a week. We are even if he makes more or less doesnt matter. I don't think anyone really likes their job. I hate mine too and talk about other options all the time, but never do anything about it. Its stable and I am comfortable lol.
    ABusyBee

    Answer by ABusyBee at 9:36 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Well you can encourage him to maybe take some classes and get some experience in something else, or maybe he doesn't have enough confidence in himself to move on. Just keep encouraging him, it took alot of talking to get my husband to move on but when he finally did he wasn't so afraid to move around.
    Momabear455

    Answer by Momabear455 at 9:36 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • yes it would bother me.. i only date men of a certain caliber....money isn't everything in a relationship but it is very important that the man i am with is VERY financially secure. very.....
    gwen20

    Answer by gwen20 at 9:37 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Not at all. We pool our money anyway and don't pay attention to who makes more.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 9:38 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • It would not bother me. But I can not say if it would bother my DH though.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:40 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Well, now it would since I'm at home, but previously, I had always expected to make more money and it would be cool, in a way, to feel I was so important in our relationship. I did have a pretty decent job, and almost had an excellent one, but I left the company when pregnant with my 1st.
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 9:42 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • No.
    Princess_s21

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:44 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • No. As long as he picks up the slacks on the domestic front. Would you consider switching role with your husband? Do you have more earning potential? Maybe you can be the bread winner, and he can handle the house/kids stuff. Just a thought.
    Olivia4116

    Answer by Olivia4116 at 9:48 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • To me, it wouldn't be so much the bottom line, dollar amount...it would be the amount of work and ambition I saw out of him. It is extremely rare that my LP will turn down the opportunity to work or earn some extra money even on top of a full time job. If he were to take a lower paying job than what he has now, it would be because he had a plan for it to give him the experience he needed to do something more. We are both college educated, have always both worked jobs that tested the tops of our abilities and brought in the most potential income at that time, so no, the money wouldn't bother me. BUT, if I saw him slacking, taking an easy convenient job while I worked my ass off to provide, and we weren't able to meet our bills...yeah, I would have a huge problem with that.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 10:12 PM on May. 12, 2011

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