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2 Bumps

I don't really want her as my brides maid anymore...

I have had a friend for several years. She has mostly been there for me when I needed someone, and same goes the other way. But since I have asked her to be my brides maid she has moved to a completely different planet! She had the nerve to come to my house and tell me about how I was wrong because I only believed in 1 God and was made I didn't believe in such a thing as "mother nature" that God decided the weather. She says she is Paegan (sp?) but believes in Jesus and multiple Gods. I have always known this about her and never once said anything to her about it because I know she is set in her ways and wont convert to Christianity. I know I am called to love her all the same. Then I called her the other day to say hi and ask her how she is doing and she was short and rude and sounded mad. I am assuming from the conversation we had a few days before about religion. I just feel like I could fill her spot with someone who isnt going to lash out at me because I believe differently than she does. Should I just suck it up since I asked in the first place? Or tell her kindly that I don't think it will work out?


Asked by ABusyBee at 9:49 PM on May. 12, 2011 in Relationships

Level 18 (5,804 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Oooohhh this is tough, when I saw the title to you question my first thought was "stick with what you committed to", which is having her is the wedding...but honestly, if she is being hateful to you....than I'd probably let her know gently that she is no longer needed as a bridesmaid. Remember, your wedding pictures last you want her in the pictures? And bridesmaids are supposed to be there for you, make your day special...will she do this for you? Good luck with your decision.

    Answer by cdecker83 at 9:53 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I believe its your wedding, u do what makes u happy even if it means pissing someone off.

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 9:52 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • scissori would tell her that she is dismissed_ BUT you should only do that if you are willing to lose the friendship for good...if you still want to be her friend suck it up and have her as your bmaid. i personally would sever ties with such a sour grape of a woman..i would cut her off like a tumor..i have no time for people like this in my about an emotional vampire...


    Answer by gwen20 at 9:53 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • lol as the story goes there ALWAYS seems to be ONE nightmare bridesmaid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Almost all the time anyway. That aside, I think it sounds really strange that she is all of a sudden being this way, have you ever had these types of conversations before, I would firstly probably try to look into it a bit more and see if there is something going on in her life that has her acting this way, maybe try to sit down and talk to her about it, just explain your concerns and that you would like both of you to be able to respect eachothers beliefs and that your just really confused about why this is all coming to a head all of a sudden and see how it goes and take it from there going forward, that way if in the future you feel you need to cut her from the bridal party she will know why and you will know you tried to work it out and gave the situation the benefit of the doubt, Good Luck!

    Answer by Princess_s21 at 9:55 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Your special day only happens once and the last thing you need is to be stressed out, thinking about your rude bridesmaid when you should be focusing on your new husband and enjoying yourself. Kick her to the curb as nicely as possible, or tell her that due to her behavior you are seriously considering replacing her because you're afraid she's going to stress you out too much. If that little nudge doesn't get her attitude in check quickly, stick to your guns and actually replace her. If she's a good friend, she'll try to make amends and you'll just have proof that she's really there for you.

    Answer by ShainaMay at 9:57 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • I agree with Princess_s21. It is the mature thing to do. There might be something going on in her life that has her lashing out at you because you are her friend.

    Answer by dustbunny at 10:03 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • It's YOUR wedding, YOUR day. You need to do what makes YOU happy. If she can't be an adult and deal with it, tough shit for her.

    Answer by mrsziemann at 9:57 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • i think that is something that you need to talk to her about... put it all on the table now before the wedding.

    Answer by lynnlang at 10:09 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • she is always an emotional wreck because her and her husband are not ever doing well. She was so excited at first...we have talked about religion before but it has always been very respectful. FYI my hubbs and I have been married 3 years but we never got a wedding...we bought a house instead lol.

    Comment by ABusyBee (original poster) at 10:11 PM on May. 12, 2011

  • Depending on how important your friendship is, I would sit down and talk with her. If she doesn't want to talk or resolve the issue, then I think you already have your answer about what to do. I had issues when I asked my SIL to be my bridesmaid. She did ABSOLUTELY nothing to help with the wedding and was complaining all the time. However, because she was family I put up with it. I wish people would be more considerate and if they can't handle something like this then graciously decline it, instead of accepting to be a brides maid and then constantly adding to the bride's stress. Good luck.


    Answer by Ashoonik at 10:22 PM on May. 12, 2011