a little background.
My husband and I are raising his 7yr old son. He was removed from his mother's custody in another state when he was 2&1/2 due to neglect, abuse and drug exposure. He was in foster care for 9 months while dh and I complied with CPS to get him mobved to our state. We have had him for nearly 5 years now. While he was in foster care, his mother only saw him 5 times in 9 months. Her father gained visitation and had him one day a week, every 2 weeks. It still isnt clear to us why he didnt try to get custody temporarily instead of having his grandson in foster care, but whatever...
The grandfather sends my stepson Christmas and birthday gifts, and mt stepson has some limited memory of him. My stepson suffered brain damage from being exposed to meth, and only has 25% short term memory retention and less than 5% long term memory retention. His memories of his grandfather come and go, and when he makes a request to talk to him, we comply and call the grandfather. His mother is not allowed contact at all.
His mother had another child who is three and is now in the sole custody of his father. the father reached out to us during the custody battle for help and we complied.
Here is the delimma. We will be travelling to the state of origin to see my stepdaughter this summer. We have been asked by the father of stepson's brother that if we come up there to let him know so the boys can meet. Apparently the mother had been telling the boy about his older brother since birth and he is quite fascinated with him and is always pretend talking to him on the play phone and such. Since the mother is no longer a factor, the father would like to boys to start a relationship.
Problem is, my stepson does not know he has a brother and would not be able to comprehend such a fact. His functions on the level of a 4yr old in MOST capacities. He mainly lives in the here and now. He knows that my son is his brother and the twins I have with dh are his brother and sister, but even tho we SKYPE my husband's other daughter(different mom) daily, he cannot comprehend that Alex is his sister just as much as my daughter is. I am on one had thinking what harm would it do to let the boys meet, but on the other hand, if the 3yr old is so excited about the brother thing will it just confuse my stepson, and when he gets confused he can act very innapropriatly. I am going to bring this up with ss's psychiatrist when we see her June 3rd, but the father is getting quite excited as well and I am really not sure what to tell him.
Also, should we make time to see the grandfather if stepson doesnt ask? Our main goal on this trip is to go see my stepdaughter and spend as much time with her as possible.
If you made it this far, thanks!!
Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:05 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by Princess_s21 at 3:03 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by ssmiley4u at 6:09 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by sipn_mom at 8:57 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by roxy0522 at 2:37 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by laird6372 at 2:39 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by sailorwifenmom at 7:08 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by gemgem at 7:52 AM on May. 13, 2011