To make I long story short, when I was thirteen I went away to church camp and was raped by a seventeen year old boy there. I never told my mother but she knew we had dated and the other day she came out of nowhere and me if he had had sex with me. She said that she remembered that I had my nervous breakdown and nearly lost my mind after that and started having nightmares and, I guess she just put two and two together at random. We finally talked about it and I told her what happened and begged her not to say anything about it. This morning she calls me and says that she's been praying about it and she feels like God has told her that we need to tell the pastor what happened.
First of all, every time my mother talks to God, my life gets more miserable. Sometimes I think she just uses that as an excuse to push what she wants and make it sound like God's idea. Second of all, I barely go to that church anymore. Third of all, that boy doesn't even go there anymore, but his parents do and I don't want them telling him and him coming back and saying I was lying. My mother's upset because her pastor and his wife thought it was cute then that that boy was paying so much attention to me. She's upset that they didn't supervise us on the trip. My mother assures me that, if we talk to the pastor then the conversation won't leave the room but word tends to travel fast around this church. It's a small church and most of them members have been there since I was five and also, a similar incident happened with a friend of mine at a different church when we were teenagers. When she confessed to the pastor that another member had been molesting her since she was a child, the pastor was furious. He ended up making it a part of the sermon the next Sunday and, even though he didn't name names, the person accused made a big deal about her telling lies and she ended up leaving the church because they took his side, even the pastor.
I've had problems in the past at this church and they've pretty much fed me to the wolves which is why I don't trust them. My mother is asking me to trust my privacy with someone else. She can't control what he does and she can't promise he won't say anything. How can I trust a man who was driving a car and that kid was sticking his hands up my shirt in the back seat in the back and he didn't even notice? Maybe that's why I resent that church so much. I'm 21 now and I had buried this long ago but now my mother is determined to take a switchblade to the scab and make it worse. I've already started having nightmares again and start shaking every time we talk about it. Why can't my mother just let it go? She wonders why I never confide in her.
Do you think I should let it go or dredge it up and possibly make a big deal about it?
Answer by LARRYSWiiFE at 5:14 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 5:16 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 5:22 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by BetcCarter at 5:47 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by SalemWitchChild at 5:52 AM on May. 13, 2011
This is really your choice not your mothers. Tell her you pray too and God didn't tell you to talk to the pastor. I think counseling is a great idea because this was obviously traumatic and your still struggling with what happened, but you need to find a counselor you trust and like not one your mother has decided on.
Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:59 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by daps at 6:05 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by ssmiley4u at 6:25 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by 1lilgirl at 7:06 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by samurai_chica at 7:10 AM on May. 13, 2011
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