So my friend who is an atheist sent me this joke and i died laughing im a christian and thought it was super funny. So i go online looking for an atheist joke meant to make her laugh but she got mad im posting the xtian joke first then the atheist. If your an atheist is this offensive ( if it is im sorry because it was just for fun)
:::::Jesus was taking a walk in heaven when he came across an old man sitting all alone. He approached the old man and asked him where he was from. The old man said that when he was alive, he had grown up and lived around the Mediterranean. Jesus was pleasantly surprised and told the old man that he himself had grown up in the same area. Continuing to make small talk, Jesus asked the old man what he had done for a living. The old man said he loved working with his hands and had been a carpenter. Jesus told the old man his father had been a carpenter, too. When Jesus asked the old man about his family, the countenance of the old man changed completely. His face lit up, and he began to speak about his son. He said his son was truly exceptional and that his life's story had touched the hearts of millions of people. His son had gone through trials, struggles, and temptations, only to emerge transformed into someone who brought joy and hope to others. Jesus was dumbfounded. He raised the old man to his feet, looked into his face, and asked, "Father?" The old man paused, then searched the eyes of Jesus and asked, "Pinocchio?"
::::::::An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees ! What a powerful river ! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow. "OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed. Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the powerful river stopped flowing. A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around, "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? " Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? " "VERY WELL" said the voice. The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed. The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............ "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
I thought she would laugh shes has a always telling me jokes what do i do?
I think they are both funny, and wasn't offended one bit.
In an effort to help understand why your friend might have been offended with the second one...
It starts to get a little sketchy around the line: ""OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed" and I think it really just comes down to the word "pleadingly". That suggests that the atheist's beliefs were so shallow that he was willing to turn his back on them and adopt a belief in "God" without proof. There's a very bigoted saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes". The "pleadingly" thing probably hit a nerve with her due to that. However, if that one word were removed, the story would still work because even I have been known to scream "oh god" a couple times a week in um... specific circumstances... if you know what I mean. ;)
Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 11:12 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by NotPanicking at 9:08 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by KelleyP77 at 9:12 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:16 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by ABeaverhausen at 9:20 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by pam19 at 9:25 AM on May. 13, 2011
I can see both as funny. Maybe she was offended not because of the joke against atheism, but the death part of it. I do not know how to word this right so I hope my point comes across or some one else can word it better. As an atheist though a lot of the things we here are we are going to hell or can't wait till you die so you can see how wrong you are type things (not all christians just the ones that are prone to attacking) so by posting a joke about an atheist being eaten alive she may be on the defensive now as to if you are one of those christians.
Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:04 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 9:05 AM on May. 13, 2011
Answer by KelleyP77 at 9:31 AM on May. 13, 2011
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