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Atheist would this bother you?

So my friend who is an atheist sent me this joke and i died laughing im a christian and thought it was super funny. So i go online looking for an atheist joke meant to make her laugh but she got mad im posting the xtian joke first then the atheist. If your an atheist is this offensive ( if it is im sorry because it was just for fun)

:::::Jesus was taking a walk in heaven when he came across an old man sitting all alone. He approached the old man and asked him where he was from. The old man said that when he was alive, he had grown up and lived around the Mediterranean. Jesus was pleasantly surprised and told the old man that he himself had grown up in the same area. Continuing to make small talk, Jesus asked the old man what he had done for a living. The old man said he loved working with his hands and had been a carpenter. Jesus told the old man his father had been a carpenter, too. When Jesus asked the old man about his family, the countenance of the old man changed completely. His face lit up, and he began to speak about his son. He said his son was truly exceptional and that his life's story had touched the hearts of millions of people. His son had gone through trials, struggles, and temptations, only to emerge transformed into someone who brought joy and hope to others. Jesus was dumbfounded. He raised the old man to his feet, looked into his face, and asked, "Father?" The old man paused, then searched the eyes of Jesus and asked, "Pinocchio?"

::::::::An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees ! What a powerful river ! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow. "OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed. Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. Even the powerful river stopped flowing. A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around, "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? " Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? " "VERY WELL" said the voice. The light went out. The river ran. The sounds of the forest resumed. The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............ "Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."

I thought she would laugh shes has a always telling me jokes what do i do?


Asked by whitenena at 8:52 AM on May. 13, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 17 (4,298 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (33)
  • I think they are both funny, and wasn't offended one bit.

    In an effort to help understand why your friend might have been offended with the second one...
    It starts to get a little sketchy around the line: ""OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed" and I think it really just comes down to the word "pleadingly".  That suggests that the atheist's beliefs were so shallow that he was willing to turn his back on them and adopt a belief in "God" without proof. There's a very bigoted saying that "there are no atheists in foxholes".  The "pleadingly" thing probably hit a nerve with her due to that.  However, if that one word were removed, the story would still work because even I have been known to scream "oh god" a couple times a week in um... specific circumstances... if you know what I mean.  ;)


    Answer by Eek_a_Geek at 11:12 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I think they're cute, but I can see why the second one could be offensive to someone. The first is just a funny misunderstanding that happens to involve Jesus. The second is based entirely on the premise that the atheist is wrong. Imagine if the first joke, instead of pointing out the similarities between the two stories, ended up with the punchline that Jesus was really just Pinocchio (meaning Christians are wrong and he didn't really exist, he was just a puppet) - would you still find it funny?

    Answer by NotPanicking at 9:08 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I think if she's sending you Christian jokes knowing that you're Christian, then she really doesn't have a whole lot of room to be offended by you doing the same to her. Especially since it was all done in good nature between friends. I think she's being a bit over-sensitive. Did she give you the reason why the joke upset her? Hopefully you'll be able to talk about it once she cools off.

    Answer by KelleyP77 at 9:12 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I think NotPanicking explained it well...
    I wasn't offended...but the 2nd one has a different... tone I guess

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 9:16 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • She can dish it but can't take it. I find both funny.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I agree with NotPanicking. I'm not offended by the 2nd joke, but I don't think it's funny either. This part especially is SUPER preachy, "YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER?" So I can see where your friend might be offended. It would kind of be like me calling you a dumbass for believing in God. And that's not really fair.

    However, I do think she needs to grow some thicker skin.

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 9:20 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I'm not offended by either. The first one is really cute!! The second doesn't really read like a joke to me, so maybe that's why it's offensive to her. Like I said, I'm not personally offended, but frankly it's just not very funny and sounds a little condescending.

    Answer by pam19 at 9:25 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I can see both as funny. Maybe she was offended not because of the joke against atheism, but the death part of it. I do not know how to word this right so I hope my point comes across or some one else can word it better. As an atheist though a lot of the things we here are we are going to hell or can't wait till you die so you can see how wrong you are type things (not all christians just the ones that are prone to attacking) so by posting a joke about an atheist being eaten alive she may be on the defensive now as to if you are one of those christians.


    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 9:04 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • The first one is funny. It's not really making fun of xtians it is just like a funny coincidence that Jesus meets Gepetto.
    The second one... well, it's definitely preachy. Just saying.
    I am neither christian nor atheist BTW

    Answer by Nicoles2LilRams at 9:05 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • OP, I'd just call her or send her an email explaining that you meant no offense to her. If you're close, I'm sure she'll know that you're sincere. Maybe though, the two of you should refrain from sending each other these types of jokes in the future. =)

    Answer by KelleyP77 at 9:31 AM on May. 13, 2011