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Do you think they are wanting to be married for the wrong reasons?

My brother has been talking to this girl since christmas ON-LINE..( 5 months).he came home and met her for the first time this week. they have spent the week together and he has proposed to her! He has only known her through internet chat and skype and has spent 7 days with her..they are fucking crazy! i am thinking in my brothers small mind that he knows he will be getting more money being married..(military)..but he is NOT thinking that this money is going to be going to her needs...insurance, care, school, etc.. I also think she is just wanting to do this so she can have health coverage and school paid for. can i please slap some brains into him before she takes him for a ride!!!!!?? does it seem to you they are doing this for wrong reasons or is it really possible to fall in love like this? i can see my brother being so vulnerable but this girl is young, beautiful, and seems to be very social...

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shay1130

Asked by shay1130 at 9:41 AM on May. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 27 (32,809 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • well, i don't know your brother, but i do know it is possible to fall in love on the internet. my friend's mom married a guy she met over the internet who lived in the UK, he flew over after several months of chatting online, they met one another and ended up getting married. that was about 15 years ago and they're still together! it is possible, but i cannot speak for your brother. i suppose all you can do is gently explain to him where all his extra BAH money is really going to go.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 9:44 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • Your brother is an adult and while you can give him some advice, you need to stay out of it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • no, but i'm sure if she has it her way they will be before the week is over
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 9:44 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • It is possible to fall in love with people just by writing! be happy for him
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 9:45 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • it's completely possible. i also think it's good they have such a strong LDR... they will need those skills because he will be away ALOT!!
    mrsary

    Answer by mrsary at 9:45 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • My brother made the same mistake. He knew this girl for a few months, they were on the same base, and they got married. She got pregnant right away and it got ugly. She started threatening to kill him, her sister gave him a concussion. It was a mess. When he got a legal separation, he had to pay her spousal support until their divorce was final. However, he wouldn't listen to us for crap. No matter what we said or did, he thought we were wrong. Your brother is in love, or so he thinks. Let him live and learn. It will make him stronger, and hopefully smarter.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:48 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • i don't feel she is "stealing" him from me. i don't want my brother to make mistakes like i did. i want him to be successful..and i don't want to see some tramp drag him down in the dirt. Its hard for me not to care because i pretty muched raised my little brother when my parents were divorcing.
    shay1130

    Comment by shay1130 (original poster) at 9:49 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • Ask him specific questions about her like how she acts when she gets mad at him or anyone else, what's her relationship like with her family, has he met any of them, has he seen how she acts when she doesn't get her own way. Use your imagination. If you are a married lady, you know what are the important things in your own marriage. Ask him questions that reflect those things and perhaps he will realize how very little he actually knows about her. Sometimes, people fall in love with falling in love, and they are blind as bats. If you have doubts about her, there's a good chance that you are right and I would do everything I could for as long as I had opportunity to get him to see the truth. He may be right and you may be wrong, but I would definitely go with my gut.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:51 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • I don't think you are being fair to her at all. They might actually feel they love eachother and that they are getting married for the right reasons. If she wants to take him for a ride and use him you will just have to let him learn, express your feelings and worries to him but don't judge her too fast.

    zoejains_momma

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 9:52 AM on May. 13, 2011

  • It's possible yo fall in love with someone just by writing...in fact I think that connection is prob. deeper then to be physically active and falling in love that way as many people do...be happy for them and if it doesnt work out then what dot hey have to lose? I've only known my SO for 5 months and we live togehter and I've never been mor ein love with someone...I would love to get married,but he just got a divorce so it's not happening anytime soon. share your concerns with him like even though he will get more money he will have more expense...does she work though cause if so then chances are she will cover her own expenses
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 9:56 AM on May. 13, 2011

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