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So tired of bring the one that goes without.

My husband has a good job. He makes decent money. I also work a full time job. I pay half of the rent and the entire electric bill. I put food on the table and clothes on my childs back. My husband spends his money on lottery tickets, cigarettes and half the rent. Whats left of my money after I pay the bills and fill my car up with gas he always spends. I never have money for food at work or to buy myself new clothes. I am pregnant and all the stress is probably not good for me or my baby. I go without and I shouldnt have to. I try talking to him about it and he tells me that hes not doing anything wrong. Now that im pregnant my clothes dont fit right anymore. My jeans are too tight and so are my shirts. I cannot afford to buy myself anything because he spends it as soon as i get it. What do i do? I cant do this anymore.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on May. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Put your money in a banking account that he can't touch
    Eisleysmommy27

    Answer by Eisleysmommy27 at 12:17 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Open a different bank account, you put your money in it and he has his money....that way he doesn't have access to yours and you don't have access to his.
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 12:17 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Maybe you could try separate checking accounts?
    ABeaverhausen

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 12:17 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • if he makes a lot more than you, then split the rent 60/40, not 50/50. my SO makes much more than me, and we split rent evenly, but he pays more for things like groceries and such- so that i can have a tiny bit of money for myself. it definitely helps. and it's really not fair that he doesn't help you out more. does he oversee your spending?, like is it a joint account?, or just that you use all your money on bills and he spends a lot of his? i'm sorry, my sister had the same problem when she was pregnant too- she was a sahm, with no income, and needed new clothes- and while her husband always was buying an iphone, ipad, etc, she had to beg and beg just to get some maternity pants. it makes me so mad when men are like that!! so good luck to you, hope he changes!
    lexi8622

    Answer by lexi8622 at 12:20 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • My husband and I have separate bank accounts. My money is mine and his money is his. I tell him what i need from him for the bills, and I have his check book, so i pay the bills that he has to pay and the rest of his money is his. If i need something and i don't have the money he gives me the money for it, or goes and gets it for me. On a rare occasion he gives me his bank card and says go get it and bring me back a receipt. I am not sure if that will work for you but, it is worth a try. I will never have a joint account.
    sianniona

    Answer by sianniona at 12:22 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I am not sure
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 12:27 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Open a second account that he has no access to...
    Helen2004

    Answer by Helen2004 at 12:30 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Have you told him what you needed in a calm sit down conversation? Thats the first thing you should start with. Then if he is still being awful about it or doesnt understand fully, then what I would do is add up what we make in a month year what ever is easier, figure out in percentage what each of you make say like if he brings in 70% and you bring in 30 then split bills in that fashion. If he dont like it then do as others suggested and get a seperated checkin account n tell him u dont have half of what ever bill u choose, to buy things for yourself
    mom2-6mineNhis

    Answer by mom2-6mineNhis at 12:31 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • If you have a joint acct. that is your biggest mistake...you should have a house acct...for bills and other household things that yu both contribute too and you each should have seperate accts. for your personal use so he cant touch YOUR money and you can ttouch his...if he spends all his extra money that's his problem...you need to get clothes...it's not a luxery it's neccessity...yours dont fit...so on pay day go buy an outfit before he can get tot he money!!!
    happymama02

    Answer by happymama02 at 1:09 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • My suggestion--Let him have the current bank account and you go and open up your own bank account and put your paycheck in it. Maybe if he does not have access to all the money (but just whatever is left from his pay) he will be forced to cut back on his spending and live w/in his means. Plus if you have your own bank account you can control where your money is spent, and you can budget out and buy yourself some new clothes (that fit) or things that you need/want.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:50 PM on May. 13, 2011

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