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LONG SIL ?

Prior to even being with my hubby my "sil" was a really good friend. So at that time he wasn't my husband and shd she was just a friend. She did a lot for me. Than her parents dmv form went missing and she blamed it on ME (I lived with her at the time and we were 19). I tried telling her I didn't take it, why would I? I think she knew that but she needed someone to blame it on. Her parents weren't upset or anything, I think they knew I didn't take it. I told her she was really messed up for telling me that. She was sharing her room with me at the time and whe threw all my stuff and DD's into DD's crib and I told her 'you're lucky my daughter is here'...so she called the police telling them I threatened to harm her. We were all to move out of that house and go elsewhere (her dad, her mom, brother, me, and my DD resided there) I was going to rent a room and they all were going to an apartment. We still had a few weeks left there. In those weeks I got really close to her brother ( we are married now :) and when we all moved out of there her brother and I saw each other on a daily basis...And we started falling for eachother. A few mos. later we were together. SIL (at the time just an enemy) was pissed. She threatened to kill me, told me I was a whore, yada yada yada...Mind you I have never been a sleezy girl in my life (she has-is)...A few mos later her bro and I become engaged, than married. She was really pissed, oh well :) and she started bringing stuff up from the past, saying I still owed her 100 dollers, which I already paid her and DH was with me when I did so. She obviously doesn't know her own story because she said I only paid her 75, than a few mo. later it was that I owed her 125. In the midst of this I still got the horrible names and lies spread about me to the whole family. DH and I just called it quits with his family at that time. Than I become pregnant and she tells everyone that she SAW me with other men so the baby probably wasn't DH's ( she never did, I would never betray DH) I don't think anyone believed her, but still that's very offensive. DH wrote her off as his sister and let the whole family know. DH and I wouldn't goto family gatherings and they started to become really upset so I contacted SIL, and let her know I am over all this stuff bla bla bla... I didn't get any feed back from her until a few mos later, besides the negative feedback and threats inbetween. Than she contacts me and says she forgives me for all I have done...She doesn't even AKNOWLEDGE anything she has done, and acts like I was the only one who did wrongdoing. But I was so over our friendship at the time I just said OK. So now she wants to be all chummy so to speak, and my husband still disowns her but he says it's not even worth his breath to say ANYTHING to her. now we are going over to dinner at another SIL's and she wants to be there tii, I said it was fine...but I really don't know how to act or anything. DH told he he'd rather her NOT ther, but if she is he doesn't have anything to say to her. What would YOU do?

Answer Question
 
amberpatterson

Asked by amberpatterson at 1:51 PM on May. 13, 2011 in Relationships

Level 16 (3,170 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Holy run-on paragraph batman!
    ABeaverhausen

    Answer by ABeaverhausen at 1:52 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Don't say anything to her. Hi and bye that is it!
    momavanessa

    Answer by momavanessa at 1:56 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • i understand what you "run-on" paragraph means...

    for me i WOULDN'T go... have nothing to do with her, after everything she has DONE to you.. It's not worth your time .. Don't even give her the time of day..

    GL to you!
    steph_twins

    Answer by steph_twins at 1:57 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • If it were me I would keep my distance from SIL. It does not sound like she was a very good friend, and she has tried to cause a lot of trouble and tell tales about you. I would not forgive or forget that. If you do have to be around her (like at family doings) then be polite but distant--(like if you were talking to a stranger). I would not encourage talking to her about personal things and keep conversation to general subjects.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:59 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I would go but, I wouldn't have anything to say to her. Not even hello.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 2:02 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I would still go to the dinner, but make sure the host understands the delicate situation. Than if she said anything to me beyond hello and talking about the weather, I would just excuse myself to the host and leave.
    Ms.Gwen

    Answer by Ms.Gwen at 2:11 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I would just go to the dinner and be civil with her. I wouldn't have any personal conversations with her. I would just treat her as an acquaintance (not as a friend or family). She is the one who has done wrong. You shouldn't have to give up things to avoid her. Don't let her have the power to affect your life.
    momofkids

    Answer by momofkids at 5:49 PM on May. 13, 2011

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