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3 Bumps

Are my kids too needy?

Ok so my sister says my kids are too needy, they are 5 and 3 years old! she has a 7 and 9 year old. Her kids use can opener and put food in the microwave for them self, run their own bath water, clip their own toe and finger nails, go out side alone with no adult, make their selfs breakfast in the mornings dress them selves bascily every thing by them self...she said they been doing this since they were my kids ages...

My son dresses him self he is 5 puts shoes on him slef, but they do not feed them self run their own bath water clip their toe nails use can opener or microwave....My son is special needs and she says so is hers but her kids still fend for them selfs and what not, but her kid is only add my son is autistic and adhd and couple other things for instance my son is 28 mos behind....

So she said that i keep them too shelterd and that i need to let them do those things alone....saying they wont never learn....but in my opinion kids should not have to make their own self breakfast while the parents sit on their asses and watch the morning news and a 3 and 5 year old shouldent be using a can opener...am i wrong for thinking this way?

Answer Question
 
DeeMarie87

Asked by DeeMarie87 at 6:12 PM on May. 13, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 27 (30,737 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I agree with you 100%, eventually they will learn all these things anyway!
    older

    Answer by older at 6:14 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I dont think you are wrong. I did everything for my kids, and for the younger ones I still do. In time they do figure things out on their own with our guidance. I think there is a difference between sheltered and being loved and cared for. Were moms, our job is to do things for our kids.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 6:18 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Your sister sounds like she is a lazy parent.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 6:19 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • There is a big difference between what 7 and 9 years olds can do vs. your 5 and 3. No you are not wrong. You are totally correct!!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 6:23 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Well, mine must be *really needy* since they don't know how to use a microwave, aren't allowed to use CUTTING IMPLEMENTS by their self, or draw a bath (our water heater is set to a high temp).
    I guess I'm a bad parent for cooking breakfast, lunch and supper... you know, that thing which involves raw ingredients and you turn them into a meal.

    Your sister is LAZY.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 6:31 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • not wrong at all.. my dd is three and while she dresses herself, i in no way let her run her own bath, infact at that age im still in the bathroom with her. i make her food.. yes i let her help.. and i do let her cook her own eggs because she loves to cook, but i;m RIGHT there with her.. and there is no way i'd let my 3 year old play outside herself! not at my house!.

    i agree with the other PP she just sounds lazy.
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 6:47 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • my daughter will be 5 on May 30th and son is 6 years 7 mos

    I do NOT let them touch the microwave. Or nail clippers. Or bath faucet. (they can shower alone but aren't permitted to use the handles yet) can opener (manual) with supervision although they're unsuccessful in their attempts.

    Let kids be kids..... seriously.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 6:52 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Our 2 younger boys don't do any of that on their own and they are 7 and 8 yrs old. I think she's lazy, and doesn't want to be bothered. You do what you feel is right for your babies, after all they are only babies at that age!! :)
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 6:55 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • My kids were doing all that (except the nails and can opener) at 5/6. Different ways of raising kids. I want my kids to be independent and self-reliant so I started early. My older 2 (now 10 and 9) learned to use a microwave at 4. My youngest dd just learned to use it at 4 1/2. They also know how to use a toaster and the older 2 are learning to cook on the stove. The older 3 also know how to do their own laundry start to finish and all 4 have been getting their own breakfast and lunch since they were 4. It's not that difficult to pour a bowl of cereal or make a sandwich. I won't do things for my kids that they can do on their own. No different than the way my parents raised me.
    But if your kids aren't capable of doing those things then they can't but knock her way of parenting because you don't like it.
    justanotherjen

    Answer by justanotherjen at 7:25 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Mine dress themselves; we do everything else. They are learning and doing age appropriate things.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 7:25 PM on May. 13, 2011

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