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5 Bumps

Should I call cps on a family member due to a extremely dirty house?

My older sister and her husband have a 11 month old little girl. Their house has always been cluttered but it has gotten much worse. I have cleaned it for them (both before and after the baby's birth) but they refuse to clean it themselves. I'm not talking about just messy, I mean trash EVERYWHERE, dirty diapers on the floor, old food on coffee table, cat hair balls, literally no room for her to play on the floor. I have told her and her husband they HAVE to clean up but all they say is "We know." I've seriously thought and talked to my husband about calling cps. What should I do???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:34 PM on May. 13, 2011 in General Parenting

Answers (18)
  • Are they good parents? Is she happy? I would not call them. You will create enemies. Why not help her out more. She obviously has a problem.
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 8:39 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Tough call.
    What's the problem with them not cleaning?
    butterflyblue19

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 8:40 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I wouldn't call them either if she and he are good parents. There is more then you know that comes with calling cps, i know from experience. once they are in your life they could be there for years. you could also end up taking care of the baby for a very long time or foster care. i wouldn't make this decision based on a dirty house. comeon its her first baby. i have 3 now, and my house was very messy with the first one. just incourage her to clean it, help her, even hire her a cheap maid to clean mybe one room here the baby plays. work together as a family. parenting is hard enough without cps being called. call cps for a abused or neglected child, not for a dirty house. Thats my best advice and i give it with the upmost respect
    God Bless
    fun3oo

    Answer by fun3oo at 8:43 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I'm not a good housekeeper at all, and I've had clutter. But I would never let a house get like that, particularly not with a little child that like.
    When I saw the title my first reaction was to help them out first, but if you've done that, and you've talked to them, maybe you should think about it.
    This is your niece you're talking about and I would never let my niece live like that.

    Do you think it would do any good to warn them first? if you don't they may know it was you anyway.

    Keep me posted on how it works out, I'll be wondering how this little girl is after this!
    Sad.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:43 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Is it like a bio-hazard in there or just not really up to your standards? I know when something is not up to my standards I kind of exaggerate in my mind how bad it is...I don't think I would call unless I seen actual abuse..once CPS is in your life, it's hard to get them out and I wouldnt want to put them and the child through that unless I thought there was abuse or neglect OF THE CHILD going on. Good luck with your decision mama
    Lucky209

    Answer by Lucky209 at 8:45 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Make up an official looking letterhead. and mail it to them with notification that a report has been received and follow up is needed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • when you say there is trash everywhere, does the child get into it? is there anywhere in the house she can play.

    very tough call.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:50 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • I don't know how well you know them. Are they totally overwhelmed? Is there a chance of PPD, and they can't keep things together at all? I would think the odds of that are greater than anything else.

    If you bring it up again, I'd break it down easily, like have them create one room right now that's extra-clean for the child. Try to help out. And read up on PPD and be on the lookout. Being easily overwhelmed and unable to do things is a big sign, and often it goes on for months unchecked, especially if hte husband is affected (in something like 15-20% of cases?)

    Trying to help first is key. If you find they are neglecting and/or abusing the child, like not feeding, leaving alone for hours while laughing on the phone, drugs, whatever, then I'd try a harder tack, but right now, I feel like love and help are probably more useful to everyone. It sounds like they are incapable, not unwilling.
    Tracys2

    Answer by Tracys2 at 8:59 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • are the babies basic needs being met? food, shelter (what ever it maybe) and clothes. I'm sure they love the baby.
    It's a really tough call...
    I don't know, that I'd continue to do it for them - they'll depend on you doing it all the time.
    Could she (the Mom of the baby) be depressed? not caring about how the house looks.
    And the dad?
    SassySue123

    Answer by SassySue123 at 9:00 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Personally I would not call unless it was like hoarders in the house... If it is then I would. What would more than likely happen is CPS would come investigate and give them a date to have it cleaned up by and there would be follow up visits. More than likely the child would stay in the home. Or worst case scenario... with you. You can always report anon. The question is at this point would they still suspect it was you...and are you willing to deal with the back lash that may stem form it...?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on May. 13, 2011

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