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Young adult daughter's struggle with a loss of faith.

My 20 year old daughter has always had what I would consider a pretty healthy faith for a young person, but she told me while home from college this week that she doesn't practice our faith any more and, in fact, doesn't believe in God. I am heartbroken and devastated because my faith is so much a part of who I am and I want that same thing for her. When I asked her why, she said she feels evolution just makes better sense. She has a boyfriend who she's crazy about who has no faith whatsoever.

Any thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on May. 13, 2011 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (16)
  • More than likely her being with her boyfriend who believes that way is the reason she believes that way. Young girls usually try and mold themselves for their boyfriends. I've seen it time after time, with different things. I bet if she had a Christian boyfriend, it would be different, possibly. I'm not saying that IS what she is doing, but it's very possible, if she changed her views after meeting this guy, it's only because of his views. The best thing you can do is pray for her.

    Answer by PinkDiamond717 at 11:18 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Thank you for your input. I don't necessarily disagree, but this is one kid who is just not for sale. She is so self-directed and self-assured... of her own mind. But the boyfriend's family is completely without any religious convictions at all. I have to say that my kids had a pretty fun, funny, stable family, but the boyfriend's family is glam and very very rich and I'm sure there's some allure there. I just asked her to promise me that she'd look deep within her soul and keep her heart open to God. I don't know what else to do except that and pray. She said she values my opinion very much and promised she would do that...

    ...Also, my husband is going to speak to her the next time she's home. But he wants to have some time alone with her to see where she's coming from and he didn't have that chance when she was home this time. I just don't know what to do and I'm crying a lot : (

    Thanks again,


    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:27 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • Keep praying - I think it is good for your husband to have a longer talk with her. Try to point out little miracles in your own lives or of others lives that cannot be explained by evolution. Ask her in question form, "How can evolution be true when [fill in blank]?" For example, the 4 year old son of a colleague of mine severed his spinal cord after falling from jumping on the sofa. He was told his son would be quadraplegic; yet his son walks normally today. If an xray were taken of him right now, it would show a severed spinal cord. The most eerie thing is I was on maternity leave at the time and felt promptings from the Holy Spirit to contact him. (I am embarrassed to admit I ignored the promptings.) I found out what happened when I returned to work and only then did I understand why I was prompted. It was a good lesson - never ignore a prompting from the Lord. Anyway, if you don't have your own story, use mine.

    Answer by RobotLady at 11:38 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • All you can do is be a good example of a faithful person. Being strong in your own beliefs is something that will always influence her life because she's around it.
    I remember I had a loss of faith when I was in college, and eventually I went back to the faith that I grew up knowing. Encourage her to pray about it, and for as much investigating she's doing in evolution and the rest of it, she should be doing with faiths that are based around God.
    Ultimately she is going to make her own decisions, but she will always look up to you, so be that example! Best wishes....xoxo

    Answer by BeachyBabe at 11:45 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • This happens all the time. Most generally if the child/adult looses touch with what they are dealing with now they will fall back on their faith. Keep praying. I will send a special prayer out for you this night.

    Answer by Kimkh at 11:46 PM on May. 13, 2011

  • .pray don,t stop praying satan has found into your home,and you have got to stand firm against him.right now she into whatever this heathen boyfriend and his heathen family is into.ask her just what do she think she was before being an egg in your wound and sperm of her father.i mean doesn't evolution mean a contualing cycle of one or the other.i would have her explain her reasoning for her being in this realm of life.and tell her that her changing her views for a guy is so close to being control that she has you and her father worried about her well being.and i am a walking talking living testamonie that GOD is real.and he do just what he say he will story is at the tender age of 23 years old i had a strokebut yet he gave me the strenght to raise my three and care for my three disable brothers.i buried my oldest brother in 08 after that i took very ill,first it started with internal bleeding a 2 week hospital stay.

    Answer by MADUKES402 at 12:17 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I came home one week later,I was rush to the hospital with a sugar level of 19hundre and 86,I came out of a of a diabetic coma a week or so later blind as stevie wonder on a good day, three weeks later i finally got to go home on insulin shots four times a day.and meds out the yan my sight back though we was on my way back,but nooo the devil wasn't backing down and neither was i.started having stomach pains that out did labor pains any day.and then i had a major astmas attack was rush back to the hospital,my lungs was about to colasp so they had to triple my doses of steroids,ok the devil thinks he got me beat but i'm a warrior,the high doses of steriods shot my pancreatis then top that all of a sudden i get gall stones and my gallbladder was rotten,i should be down for the count right,but GOD still have the last say so.I was being rush to the hospital every other week or so.then after 20 yeras of constance pain

    Answer by MADUKES402 at 1:01 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • That's when they found out i had lupus,i already has fibro at this time,have your daughter read my story then ask her about the goodness of GOD.and don't think for one moment satan wasn't on his job,he tried many times to weaken my faith,i'm just glad i knew about his [GOD]mercy,kindness.i'm peoud to let people know that GOD is real today as he was 2011 years ago.I will keep your daughter in my prayers.and i pray that she wise up before satan put her in a bad siutation where she have to call on god for help.

    Answer by MADUKES402 at 1:37 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Let her live her own life.  By throwing off her religious shackles, she is well on her way to living a happy and productive life.


    Answer by beeky at 7:19 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • You can't force faith on anyone and when they question things, faith seems to make no sense sometimes, let her be her own person, she does not have to be a carbon copy of you or your faith, but she can still be an awesome woman regardless.

    Answer by older at 9:17 AM on May. 14, 2011

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