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Think back when you moved out

from your parents' home... did anyone here have to move out without telling them and explain later? What did they do, what were your reasons?

 

(I'm 19 with a baby and fiance, and we're finally moving out away from my mother. But I've always been afraid of her...she abused me when I was younger and I finally have an opportunity to get out. We have "faked" a happy relationship (my mother and I) with eachother for a couple years now...But I'm taking my daughter with me to somplace much better, away from an alcoholic and to a place where I can take her to work with me at a daycare! But still, I'm terrified of what my mother will do or say to me once I've left. )

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:41 AM on May. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Not here. My brother was yet again kicked out of where he lived, so he was moving back to my parents' house. I told my mom that if he was moving in, I was moving out (lived with years of abuse from him and wasn't going to go through that again). Her answer was "What else can I do?" I moved out that weekend to live with DH (who was then my boyfriend of one year).
    AllAboutKeeley

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 12:44 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I almost did once. My mom is an alcoholic and we got into a really serious fight. I was 17 and drove all over town the next day trying to get the papers for an emancipation, but no one knew what the hell I was talking about. I knew if I left she would just call the police on me or my boyfriend (now husband), and cause problems.

    Instead I worked hard and graduated high school early. I moved out the same day. But she knew in advance about that.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:44 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Do you feel much better now that you're away from the abuse/neglect/etc?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:46 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • move out when she is at work or something and over the phone just tell her your gone and its better for everyone
    campbellb3421

    Answer by campbellb3421 at 12:55 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • campbell= Yes, that's what I was planning. To leave her a letter and send a text for where it is.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:57 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I never moved out without telling her, but I have had to distance myself from my mother because of the way she treats me. I know it is scary, and you will be on a roller coaster of emotions, but you're doing the right thing. Keep your friends close, and find a therapist if you can, to sort through any confusing feelings. You'll be stronger for it, and more importantly, your child will be so much better off. Best of luck.
    kidnappedbylove

    Answer by kidnappedbylove at 12:59 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I actually stayed with a friend first before moving out completely for about a month at his place to see how we would mess as roomates.. it worked out so we got a bigger place (I was no longer the girl on the couch, lol). and that was that. (I was 18 almost 19).
    xxhazeldovexx

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 1:45 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • My family knew everything, but DH had to sneak out of his dad's house to move in with me and my parents (he was almost 20, I was 18, he left the night before we got married). His sister had to do the same thing. They both say that his dad was psycho when they were living with him, but after he got over being mad at them for leaving, he's pretty great to them. Basically, he left the way he did to avoid physical confrontation. He called his aunt that lived right up the hill from them, and she and his grandma came down and helped him pack a few things and escorted him and his stuff out, to keep his dad in check. He was pissed for like 2 weeks, then he got over it and gave DH the rest of his stuff, and his car (it had been in his dad's name before then). They have their ups and downs, still, because his dad is kind of crazy (seriously, I think he needs a mental health evaluation or something), but overall things are ok.
    Mrs.BAT

    Answer by Mrs.BAT at 4:19 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • your mom would be controlling and overprotective. do those two words ring a bell? thats how insecure male partners act, the type that ask, what are you doing, where are you going, who is calling you...your mom needs to let you out of the nest and stop instilling fear to get her way. the best tool in life is to learn how to confront the person head on instead of running away, that way she knows your not scared of her because in fact your the exact opposite. your a grown woman so go do what you gotta do!
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 6:58 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I left my abusive mother when I was 19. I had no where to go, just the clothes on my back, and a can of tuna in my backpack and $10 in my pocket. My mother and I had a fight over money, at my part time job she said I wasn't making enough, I made $12.50 an hour, and I went to college. I use to give her money to help out with the house and stuff, but apparently it wasn't enough, even though she took all of it. She used it to buy drugs. When I left, I left because I had had the last ass beating from her I was ever going to get. I was so afraid of my mom. When I left she called all my friends and told them I sent her to the hospital, and told all of my family I was on drugs and abusive, no one believed her though because they know how she is. I found a place to stay, and my mother still threatened to call the cops. I just kept strong and kept going. I now have a loving husband, and a little boy on the way. Keep your head up.
    monstersmommy20

    Answer by monstersmommy20 at 9:11 PM on May. 14, 2011

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