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Pressure on mom's from society, other mom's and ourselves.

I read an article the other day about the pressure mother's are under because of the standards that society puts on us, breast or bottle, school, activities, food we feed our children and so on....  I don't necessarily agree with the specific points made in the article.  But it did get me thinking.

I find myself that I feel pressured to do/try differnt things based on what my friends do with their kids.  I also feel that I put a lot of pressure on myself as far as what I expect from myself as a mother.

Are there things you do or did that you felt pressured to do? 

I have 4 kids and feel guilty when I don't give them quality one on one time often enough. When we have take out and possibly no veggies at dinner. When I'm up late(can't sleep because I'm worrying about crap) and know that they will be the one's to pay for it tomorrow because I can't possibly be at my best when I'm so tired.  When I feel I need help but am too proud to ask because as mom's we should be able to do it all.  I stopped breast feeding my first at 3 months because he was biting.  I missed having that time with him.  When I'm in the hospital with my baby because he's sick and the other kids have their lives disrupted because I'm not there and they go to grandmas or daddy doesn't do all that I do.  I co-slept with my children (one not so much, she slept better alone).  I have a 2 month old and I am too tired to sleep with him.  I feel guilty that I did with my other kids but I'm not with him.  Things have changed in my life and I have a lot more responsibility now then I did then.  I don't feel it would be safe to sleep with him in case I fall into a very deep sleep.  But I feel guilty that his brother and sisters had that constant contact with me and he doesn't. Ridiculous I know, it's in his best interest but I feel guilty none the less.

What are some pressures you feel?


Asked by AmandaH321 at 1:00 AM on May. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,472 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • Oh, so many. I feel a constant pressure regarding nutrition, especially in the face of a picky toddler. I feel guilty that I don't have my kids constantly engaged in activities out of the home, as so many moms think it is a must to go to the playground or storytime everyday. I feel guilty that we are not part of a moms club or playgroup, but I just don't have the extra energy for more socializing.

    I feel guilty that my first had my undivided attention, so I could teach her academics at age 2. My son is older than that and still struggles with ABC's . . . it's because I didn't have the same time for teaching with him.

    I constantly judge my "motherhood" based on how well my children are doing.

    This is the hardest job ever! :)

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 3:01 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • It's been said that I'm waaayyyy too hard on myself. I feel horrible about the fact that my boobs don't work right so I couldn't breastfeed. Kid #3 is 5 weeks old now, and I'm still critiquing my "birth performance". I feel bad that our middle child is currently getting the short end of the stick because of the new baby and because we homeschool our oldest. Because of the new baby and our tiny house, the other two kids have had to be really quiet and there have been occasions when they've gotten fussed at for waking the baby by accident, which really isn't fair. And if I forget to do something or mess it up because I'm rushed or overtired, I feel completely stupid and useless.

    When I think about it logically, it's kid of lame to waste so much mental energy putting myself down when I could be using the same energy to build myself up...

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 9:30 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Not at all. I have 5 kids and have been at this since 1986. I may have moments of "could I be doing better by them?" What mom doesn't? But I never feel pressure or guilt because of society or what others are doing or not doing for or with their kids. I am a great mom for the most part. My kids are happy, well mannered and very close to one another. I love my big loud family and know I do a good job keeping them provided for, safe, involved etc. THere is always room for improvement, but for the most part I am fine.

    Answer by salexander at 10:34 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I understand what you are saying. I try to be laid back about it because i only have one and i am raising her on my own. i try to do my own thing. everyone is so worried if their kid acts out at resaurants or in the store ect. or if they have to do it all. i know i can't so why even bother trying to. i ask for help when needed and i go with the flow. i try to laugh it off. i mean they are children after all. i think its just the type of person i am though. but i can see how it can be alot of pressure. but i am trying to just do it the way i think is bes for my daughter and myself. i try to look at myself and how i can improve as a person and that way i can improve as a parent.

    Answer by lambdarose at 11:07 PM on May. 14, 2011