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2 Bumps

What can I do?

My 12 yo dd (almost 13) will only wear baggie sports shorts and the same baggie tops (3) all week even if she has to wash them so that she can wear them. She refuses to wear any jeans or nice shirts/tops. What can I do to help her to want to wear other clothes? She is the same with her friends. She has 2 friends. This isn't a phase. She has always been like this. What can I do to help change come about. Why is she like this and do you have girls like this or know ones?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on May. 14, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (17)
  • My daughter who is now 17 did the exact same thing. Except she only had two change of clothes she would wear. even her underwear she had one pair and that was it that she would wear. I washed them everyday for her! I took her shopping for anything she wanted but she would never wear anything else. It was honestly exhausting. She has gotten better the last 3 years but she still has a closet full of clothes that she will not wear for what ever reason. I gave up. I even took her to therapy in 4th grade. So I understand what you are going through. I hope things get better for you.

    Answer by Lola552 at 11:16 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • You want her to change to fit what YOU think she should be? Big mistake. My sister has dressed like that since she was able to dress herself, still does. And she's perfectly fine that way. Why does she need to change? Baggy clothes aren't going to hurt her or get her in trouble... Just let her be who she is... Trying to change her simply because you think she should be one in the crowd is only going to drive a wedge between you and destroy any hopes of a relationship there is.

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 11:07 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I've never had an issue like this with my daughter. Maybe take her shopping and let her pick out a couple outfits she Luke's that You think look nice on her.

    Answer by KamiB79 at 11:05 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I was that girl, just let her wear what she wants! Its not hurting her nor you. She will grow out of it eventually, I sure did once i realized i would like to be asked on a date.

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 11:06 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • i was the same way and now im pretty much opposite.. i like wearing nice clothes unless im just lounging here at the house

    Answer by hamilcha at 11:14 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Why do you want to change her?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Shoot are you kidding me? In today's society when kids are wearing less and less and you're complaining about her wearing baggy clothing? If it were MY kid, and will be in about 10 years, I'd be over the moon that she doesn't want to wear nearly nothing.

    I mean that kindly, really I do. I just see all these kids wearing clothes that cover less than a swimsuit and it kinda disgusts me. This is one battle you DO NOT want to fight, it's really not worth it.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 11:18 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • My 12, almost 13 yr old will only dress nice for school dances.
    Not for church on Sunday, not to go out for dinner..
    I was happy when she started to brush her hair.
    She she into sports and stuff? Maybe that is just still her thing.
    What does she do when you take her shopping?
    Maybe wait and use the new school year, as a reason to buy new clothes.
    I've actually tossed clothes without telling my girls. Its gone..

    Answer by SassySue123 at 11:10 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Someone must not like that we think its fine for now.

    Answer by Mrs_Harsh at 11:13 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • The real issue is why you feel a need to control her to this extent. All kids need a chance to express themselves. Don't take away their individuality. They will grow up resenting you. Trust me, I did as a kid. As long as they're not growing into delinquents or harming themselves or others, allow them to make some of their own choices. They can see the consequences of their own decisions and learn from it. It's a part of growing up. If you make all the decisions for them, they'll grow up dependent and confused. Was that how you grew up? Maybe you're projecting onto her what you went through or trying to get control in this area of life where another area of life is out of control. Be the cool mom, not the mom from hell.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 11:45 AM on May. 14, 2011