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Is he truly sick ? Should I test him?

My SO is always sick & especially on the weekends we don't have my son. When we went on vacay just with him me & him while my son was spending Christmas with his father (it was his year legally) he was sick then too. Now, we've been planning this weekends plans for months now & just go happens its on a weekend I don't have my son & he's SICK AGAIN! I don't really know if he's truly sick. If he really is sick, I don't want to be mean and go any where w.o him. I'm starting to think he just really likes my attention bc when he's sick, I take good care of him. I do take care of him other times as well, but when he's sick, I "serve" him. If that makes sense? Like he lays in bed & I do everything for him.  I think he isn't "sick" on the weekends I have my son bc he knows I won't be able to "care" for him like I would when I don't have my son. He isn't sick on the weekdays either, only extremely tired from work.

Should I try not giving him that much attention & see if he isn't "sick" anymore? I love him and don't want to go without him anywhere esp if he is truly sick. What to do ? We don't ever do anything. We truly don't besides when we have my son. He's always sleeping & "sick" when we don't. I'm so tired of being cooped up in the house & not having an adult personal life because he's always sick. I'm a mom and when I'm not being a mom (when my son's when his dad) I am taking care of my "sick" SO. Sorry had to vent.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on May. 14, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I would make an appointment for him have a complete Physical including blood work & prostate check! After he goes through all that & they say he is in perfect health. Say to him "well, next time your sick we'll do all that again until they find out what is really wrong with you!" I am sure he will have a miraculous recovery right before your eyes! Next time you make a plan go with or without him. I suspect he may just NOT want to dig into his pockets to have a good time with you & your child. You are not even married to this guy & he's pulling this already??? You are only young once, don't waste your life away!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • To me a person is not sick unless they have a temperature.  A cold is not sick to me. 

    Do this. inform him if he does not have a temperature, he is not sick to you and you will not take care of him.

    IMO, He is playing you.  I would not put up with it.


    Answer by louise2 at 11:54 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • What the doctor says about his condition?

    Answer by MMXI at 11:50 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • I wouldn't "test" him, but rather ask him what is going on, and tell him your observation. I wouldn't put up with that, period.

    Answer by twin_mommy at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Should YOU test him? What are you saying? If you really mean "should I take him to a Doctor", then,yes,I agree. He is sick so often,if I were you I would take him to the Pediatrician. If you think by "not givng him attention" he won't say he is sick...that is pretty risky and manipulative .

    Answer by minnesotanice at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • He won't go to the dr. If he is truly sick all the time than maybe he should get a blood test and stuff ? I'm never sick like he is. So it's nothing I can catch. lol

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:51 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Take my adult SO to a pediatrician ? lol I can't make my SO go the dr. He's an adult.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:52 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Actually he is acting like a child so a Pediatricain may be the way to go, LOL! & if you have no say in his health then maybe "Just Stay home for the rest of your life"!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:56 AM on May. 14, 2011

  • Has he gone to the doctor if he claims he's sick? If not, why not? Those are valid questions and if he hasn't gone then I doubt he's really sick. It sounds to me that he's faking sickness to get out of doing things that you want to do. I have a sister that very much acts the same to get what she wants - attention, sympathy, people to do things for her, getting out of obligations, etc. It's purely psychological. There's also a condition called somatoform psychological disorders where health symptoms manifest from mental origins. In your case, I think his behavior is deliberate not unconscious. I would start going out on your own, have fun and let him know that your life doesn't center around what he wants. If he doesn't seem to care, then he might not be worth staying with. If he's jealous of you having fun without him, then maybe there's hope. Most ppl who act this way have other psych issues not worth the time or stress.

    Answer by hellokittykat at 12:13 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • If he's that sick that often I would do anything more for him until he sees a doctor.

    Answer by meooma at 12:22 PM on May. 14, 2011