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DD's paternal grandmother wonders why dd is shy towards her

I live less than 5 mins from my daughters DD and she has only seen her about 3-4 times this year. My dd is 3 yrs old and is really shy and if she hasnt been around people for awhile she tends to get shy. She was becoming more open and close to her grandmother but after not seeing her now for about 3 months she is extremely shy again and wont even talk to her on the phone. So dd's grandmother calls me the other day and ask how come dd is so quiet near her and wont talk and she told me she was hurt by it. I told her well you havent been around and she is normally shy and if she isnt around you for awhile she will close up again.

Right now I am so sick of all her grandparents with the exception of my father/ My mother loves her but wont ever come visit her and I have to be the one to visit her. My mother lives in another state and has not visited us in about 2yrs. she told me she would come to dds bday party or dds ballet show and I asked her the other day to confirm which one she was coming for and she told me that she was hoping I forgot she said that.//her paternal grandfather HAS NEVER SEEN HER and my father the only real grandparent will DO ANYTHING FOR HER and I mean ANYTHING and would travel just to watch her brush her teeth. I have not doubt that my mom loves her but coming to see her and be apart of her life would mean alot more... with all this her father doesnt even care for her.. I feel so bad for my daughter and right now I just feel as if I shouldnt make the effort to bring her around these people and just avoid it... would I be wrong?

her paternal grandmother calls every blue moon to talk to her and maybe one day out of every 3 months she asks to see her.. I dont want to keep putting my daughter through this especially is she opens up and then there is a hiatus and she closes back up... what doyou think?

oh yea.. the grandparents are not elderly so no excuse for not being there... with the exception of my father they are 50 or just a little under 50

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on May. 14, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (3)
  • maybe tell the grandmother that she needs to call an show up more or this is whats going to happen?

    my son doesnt see the hubbies side of the family an he doesnt see my family so im sure hes shy/terrified of them but hey what can you do, they chose to have that.. there loss :)
    akalei

    Answer by akalei at 12:23 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • My kids don't ever see my husband's parents... or any of his sisters, etc. They live a few states away. We try to make a trip either direction (they come here, we go there) every year... but honestly it's hard for me to prioritize that because I truly dispise my mother in law! Maybe to please them all, you could show your daughter pictures of gramma, and ask gramma to call more often. You could try to skype or something like that- so gramma doesn't have to go out of her way to please your daughter, but still gets close to her?! I know it sucks... I'd be pissed too, but hopefully there's a way to compromise. Maybe if you make the effort, your grandparents may feel like it's their "turn" to contribute.
    livn4hevn

    Answer by livn4hevn at 9:40 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • If the grandma can't make the effort to come see her grandkid I would stop going to her. Your daughter is obviously not comfortable with her because she doesn't know her and it's the grandma's fault.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:52 PM on May. 15, 2011

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