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How do you deal with biomom's as a stepmom who text your husband all the time?

I get irritated when my husbands ex text's him all the time about stupid stuff. I know he can not control what she sends (he usually doesmt repond or says one thing and is done) but like I have told him she does not have the right to have him there for her own personal support system since she is the one who caused them to divorce in the first place (she cheated on him with his best friend at the time). How do you all deal with an ex who text about stuff when it is not related to the children? My husband tries his best and has consitantly told her to stop texting him unless it is about their children, but she still does text about stuff not related to the children and to me is always seeking emotional support from him. She is engaged to my husbands ex friend that she cheated on him with also now, I think she should be turning to him for support and not my husband.

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peanutxc09

Asked by peanutxc09 at 1:57 PM on May. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 2 (5 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • you r so right if it aint about the kids then she has no business txtin him
    andrea937

    Answer by andrea937 at 2:12 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • Obviously she thinks there is still somekind of relationship. How long were they together? I know it sucks but it is a thin line when it comes to your husband's children's mom. If she is a bitch then she will threaten using the kids as a pawn if he ins't there for her. I would try to not let it bug you, if you trust him... let him handle it. Sorry you are dealing with this. Just my opinion, women aren't the only ones that do this... my ex texts me and calls me about all the issues with his ex,.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:28 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • whoops... meant to say his wife.
    bcauseimthemom

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 2:28 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • your so right girl now is when you should step up and tell her to stop it unless its about the kids cause what has to do with him has to do with you your his half now not her !!!!
    alliep2011

    Answer by alliep2011 at 2:33 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • They were married for 4 years, got married right before their first child was born because my husband didnt want his child to be a "bastard" child and because he is very traditional. She didnt want to get married and only agreed to if my husband would cut off his long hair, so he did and they got married. My husband knows it was a mistake and regrets ever marrying her but thought he was doing the right thing because he is so traditional and old fashioned. I know he never text her unless it is about the kids which eases my mind but I just dont like the person she is and the crap she has put my husband through already with his children.
    peanutxc09

    Comment by peanutxc09 (original poster) at 2:34 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I agree with you. He shouldn't answer any of the texts at all unless it directly relates to needed communication about the kids. There is no reason he can't warn her that he is going to do this he obviously has a new wife.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:39 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • Oh, but don't get mad at her. She is not in a relationship with you, he is. If you get upset with anybody get upset with him for allowing it to continue.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:40 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • He has told her time and time again to stop and she continues to do it. He has even shown me the text where he as told her to stop. He gets just as frustrated with it and his usual response to her it that she doesnt need to be texting him unless its about the kids or he just tell her whatever the situation is that "that sucks" and never says anymore. I am very trusting of him and he shows me the text without me ever having to ask him which shows he is being honest with me. It just seems that she is not smart enough to get the point even though it has been stated over and over. I mean she isnt that smart to begin with because my husbands mother told her that she can not watch the kids for her anymore starting in June and that she will have to get them in daycare and has been telling her this for 2 months and she is still asking if this is true that she has to find daycare and everyone keeps telling her yes find daycare.
    peanutxc09

    Comment by peanutxc09 (original poster) at 2:47 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • It is time for his response to be no response. Just like when you are discipline a child. You tell them once what they did wrong, then you stop arguing with them. You simply don't reply. Not even "that sucks" That is replying and continuing a conversation. If he wants the conversation to stop, he needs to stop replying. Period.
    Candi1024

    Answer by Candi1024 at 2:56 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • OMG! She has to be related to my bf's baby momma! I finally had enough and told him to tell her that unless its about their son then she shouldn't be asking for emotional support, she has friends and family go cry on their shoulder and ever since then, we haven't had 100 texts messages a day! GL
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 3:00 PM on May. 14, 2011

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