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10 Bumps

If you have more than one child...

I learned so much when I had DD and I really struggled. There's so many things I didn't do because I didn't think of it or couldn't afford them. Simple things like getting photos done or just writing down the date when she took her first steps. Now I'm talking about having a 2nd child(different father that actually loves me and wants a baby more than anything), but I feel guilty that I'm excited to do these things I didn't with DD. Anyone else feel/felt this way?

Answer Question
 
camiam81

Asked by camiam81 at 2:56 PM on May. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (1,979 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I'm going through the same thing....
    emmyandlisa

    Answer by emmyandlisa at 3:00 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • Well when I had my 1st my dd I did a lot of writing in her baby book & wrote her a poem. When my boy came I wrote just a little & also wrote him a poem but feel bad that I am so busy now that I didn't write as many things. I can understand ya feel bad but start now and write about her feelings & actions when her new baby brother or sister arrives etc. keep journals of both of them - GL to you.
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 3:00 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • bump 4 u also....
    sarasmommy777

    Answer by sarasmommy777 at 3:01 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • A lot of mothers feel that way. I am pregnant with my 3rd now. I felt that with my first and second, but not now. I now know what not to do and more of what I can do to make this family a better environment. Its normal :)
    dolphingoddess

    Answer by dolphingoddess at 3:01 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • My mom couldn't afford those things with me or my first brother (23-18 years ago getting photos done were a LOT more expensive then it is now AND they had a lot less money) my with my youngest brother she could. You do the best you can at the time for each child and don't worry about it.
    JLS2388

    Answer by JLS2388 at 3:12 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • theres a lot things to do still now
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 7:07 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • Yea. with my oldest I hardly got professional pictures, of wrote down anything and with my 2nd now we've done alot more. I feel super guilty. Maybe try to remember a few things and write it down. You don't have to make a big deal out of it because I doubt that your oldest will ever see a difference unless you make it obvious. Enjoy your babies and make tons of memories now!
    SweetPoison

    Answer by SweetPoison at 11:12 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I used to feel bad, but I realized after my ds was born that just because something didnt get written down didnt take away from how special the moment was! My kids will look back and remember the time spent with them laughing/playing, not what was written in their baby book or what you could afford to get them!
    Mikayla_lynn

    Answer by Mikayla_lynn at 1:39 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • I'm the opposite of you...I did all that for my first and not so much for the 2nd b/c I was so busy with having two little ones. I feel guilty about it often.
    MommyH2

    Answer by MommyH2 at 9:35 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • With my first child, my daughter, I had serious PPD and I was too afraid to tell anyone. Her first 3 years of life were really rough. I did feel guilty about it but we have three kids now and I just make sure that I treat her the way she deserves to be treated NOW...no sense in walking around feeling bad about it everyday. Guilt is often an emotion we use to keep from having to change.
    BetcCarter

    Answer by BetcCarter at 10:53 AM on May. 15, 2011

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