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My 3 yo has a mean streak. We use time outs as our major form of discipline. Any suggestions on how to get him to value kindness?

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Asked by Mtmama877 at 7:33 PM on May. 14, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • i work with 3 yr olds and one thing we always reccomend to parents is to always pay the most attention to positive behavior. when a child acts out it is commonly for attention. they learn very early on that by doing certain things, normally bad they will receive a reaction from you. you still need to discipline inappropriate behavior of course but by simply praising and in some cases over praising with time a child will begin to learn the value of a positive behavior outweighs the reaction for the negative. it is also not neccesary to reward with candy cookies etc. the thing a child values most from a parent is their time. maybe tell your son if you can make 3 nice choices today we can read an extra story at bed time. high fives and hugs also work great for instant gratification. good luck and i would love to know how things are going.

    Answer by jeffsgirl2005 at 7:43 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I agree, praise him for kindness, and also, I am sure you are doing this, but set an example! Be kind to your husband and your child, and be sure to thank hubby when he is kind to you! I would recommend the series Franklin and also Little Bear, they talk about kindness and are geared to preschoolers.

    Answer by dwmom2008 at 7:48 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • yes praise for kindness.. if you do discipline with time outs don't yell at him.. just when you see him being bad, take him calmly to the time out area, set the timer (3 mins for his age).. and don't talk to him the entire 3 minutes .. if he gets up calmly put him back in tme out. when it's done, tell him why he was in time out, allow him to apologize, and give him a hug. a lot of times we as parents tend to yell first at the child and thus the child reacts in kind when they are frustrated or upset.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 8:07 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • We just started a "Be Kind" card for my 4 year old because he had been acting mean and rude lately. We start with 5 stickers on it everyday and take one away if he is rude and mean and doesn't correct his behavior. He needs to have one sticker by the end of the day in order to play with his favorite toy or watch a movie. So far its working pretty well, as we give him the opportunity to correct his bad behavior(by saying sorry or stopping his tantrum, etc.).

    Answer by HistoryPixie at 8:14 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • My niece has a kindness chart in her home and the kids get stickers for doing kind things. They helped make up the list of kind acts. Then when the chart is full they go for ice cream, to the park, etc. Then they start all over again. just an idea.........

    Answer by whitepeppers at 9:23 PM on May. 14, 2011

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