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Jealous of my friends' parents

My friends are able to drop their son of at ANY time for ANY reason and take some time for themselves. Right now, they have an 11 day haitus from parenting as a "Mothers Day Gift". I'm not really a fan of super long times away from my kids, but a night out with my husband?! That would be great! My mom is ALWAYS telling us we need to do a once-a-week date night, but she refuses to watch my kids so we can.

My sister, my brother, my grandparents and my parents are all within 20 minutes or LESS of my house. None of them watch my kids. I have three. I realize it's different having three instead of just one, but how is it that so many of my friends' parents are DYING to watch the kids for any length of time, and for me it's like pulling teeth?! My kids are well-behaved, they LOVE spending time with the family, and I've never asked for more than a few hours, or twice we asked for an overnight...

My parents want to be paid, at the very least. Most of the time not even money will convince them to do it.


Asked by livn4hevn at 9:44 PM on May. 14, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

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Answers (12)
  • My parents like having my daughter and are really the only people we let take her. They're moving 9 hours away so I'll feel your pain very soon.

    Answer by Octobersmom at 9:50 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • my dad has never ever watched my kids. my mil did for a couple of hours when i was having a new baby so my husband could be there, but then he went back home and that was that. i don't think you should assume your parents will watch your kids simply because it's their grandkids. when i am done raising these kids and i am older, babysitting is not high up on my agenda. spending time with them is one thing, but taking it for granted that they are going to babysit is just rude. and your grandparents are still alive? how blessed you are. if my grandparents were still alive, dumping my 3 kids on them would be the furthest thing from my mind. i don't think because someone is related to you makes them obligated to watch your kids unless it's some kind of emergency. if they offer, that's one thing, but i don't think you should think you're entitled to it.


    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:50 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I'll say this, If they dont want to they dont want to. maybe once they were done having kids they were really done having kids. I wouldn't expect it if it isn't wanted mutually, and I wouldn't want it if it wasnt something they wanted to do willingly.

    Answer by DomoniqueWS at 10:08 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • Find a sitter not related to you that you trust and save the heartache. I don't know why some families act that way but in the's their loss. Take care of that relationship with hubby.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:51 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I wasn't suggesting my grandparents watch my kids... that's just ridiculous. I'm just saying that with all the family I have close by, there's no reason why they can't help us out.

    Comment by livn4hevn (original poster) at 9:54 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • but what you're saying in essence is that they have no say in the matter. their opinion doesn't count. when you say they have no reason not to babysit you're not taking into consideration they simply don't feel like it. that is a valid reason.


    Answer by princessbeth79 at 9:58 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • Im so sorry to hear this. its the saddest thing i have ever heard..ur parents want 2 b paid 2 watch ur child for a few hours for a date night. Thats ridiculous! its their loss if ur children are well behaved and etc..My parents and sister are excited for me and cant wait 2 watch her..And u say u have so many relatives right near you..y not split them off and send one here one there etc? if they cant take them all at once. I understand that..they shouldnt tell u u should have a date night and not volunteer..Its not their job....No but i dont c y they wouldnt wanna b more closely involved with their grandkids? I do have a friend that drops her kids off on her parents and grandparents 4 stupid reasons and with no notice and i also dont agree with that..but if i lived close i would watch them 4 u 2 have a date night alone for a few hours..

    Answer by Heather021287 at 10:02 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • What I'm saying is that my family helps each other out. We do what we have to do to make sure we are all successful. I've done my part, and we rarely ask for favors. I just want to be able to spend a night with my husband without ringing up an ungodly babysitting tab. And "at home date nights" get old after a while. And ya, I guess I DO think they should spend more one on one time with the grandbabies. My kids miss them... so what's wrong with developing that relationship so I can develop my marriage?

    Comment by livn4hevn (original poster) at 10:03 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • i know how you feel. my brother and his wife live like five minutes from my parents house (where i live) and they never come over so, my mom is always dying and begging to see their son. I live here with my twins and she never wants to take them to the childrens museum , or play with them like the way she craves being around my nephew. I know its because we live here so she sees them 24/7 and she never sees my nephew so i get it.

    Answer by ElsaSalsaaa at 10:25 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • maybe instead ask if so and so can watch just one kid and ask another member to watch another... etc.. It can be difficult to watch all three, but if you split them up for one night, it may make it easier for them and you. Or just go and find a sitter.

    Answer by xxhazeldovexx at 10:58 PM on May. 14, 2011