Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

I need some advice on how to get over someone...

I dated this guy a couple of years ago. He wasn't ready to date like he said because he just got divorced so we broke up after only 2 months. He is one of the good guys. He always called me beautiful and made me feel so special and wonderful. He's very supportive and a great listener. I never had that before. So my dilemma is that for the past two years we've kept in touch through email and facebook and a few weeks ago we saw each other at his softball game for the first time. All of the feelings came back and he said I'm just as beautiful as he remembered. He also sends me texts every day saying goodmorning beautiful I hope you have a great day. However, he is still not ready to date. He has to take care of himself first and he told me he doesn't want to date me until he's ready to get serious. I don't know how long this will be but he is definitely worth the wait. I saw him last night at another game and when I hugged him goodbye, I didn't want to let go.

My question is, how do I get past these feelings? I want to develop a great friendship which I beleive we've started but when I just see a picture of him I get butterflies. Any suggestions?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 PM on May. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • If you want to maintain the possibility of a serious relationship with him but can't stand to be strung along, I would tell him flat out, "Call me when you're ready." And just go on with your life. He knows you are there and that you are ready, but you aren't sitting by the phone, either. If he thinks there might be competition and he really wants to be with you, he might expedite his "me-time" so as not to miss the opportunity to be with you. You don't deserve to be strung along like that, and you'd be selling yourself short if you let him do that to you.

    Answer by nepenthe429 at 10:10 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • pack your schedule, begin an exercise routine, and wait... sorry, friend :(

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 10:16 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I read this to my SO and he said "he is just not that into you"- the way yo want him to be. Obviously he feels you are a friend and not a "lover-mate". He probably said those things earlier because he didn't want to hurt you. Alot of guys are complimentary and even at the "friend" level could be misinterpreted as more than it is intended. Get out there and meet new guys, get busy and focus on things other than "this" guy. Forget about the great friendship leading to more, it is a waste of time. It would have happened by now if he felt the same. Let the obsession go, maybe ease up on the daily contact with him, it doesn't sound like it's healthy for is a "fantasy" which we all like, but in the end, it is reality that we have to live with.. Why waste 2 more years.. . Good Luck..

    Answer by LeJane at 10:36 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • My rule is if I am attracted to you, we can not be friends. I understand you want a relationship with him, but he is not ready. Rarely do men tell you the truth about not being ready to date. Respect his honesty. Many simply get involved without thinking things through. In your case, you owe it to yourself to not sit around and wait. He may be your Mr. Right but just not right now. Go out and meet some new friends and enjoy your life. When he is ready and if you are available and interested, then try again. What I have learned is you do not let a man or anyone think they have a hold on you. You not wanting to miss a chance to be with him that may or may not happen is not fair to you. Take care of yourself first and other aspects of your life will come into play.

    Answer by Acemom25 at 12:31 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • choose the best alternative to search an opportunity to make advance progress in this situation

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 2:36 PM on May. 15, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
Is it normal??

Next question overall (About CafeMom)
Extra Credit Cap