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8 Bumps

What happens after 26 years of marriage you realize theres nothing there

i been married 26 years and have a little boy together and now he dont sleep with me often (bed hurts his back,and he likes watching tv til he falls asleep)theres no hugs kisses emotions its like were roomates and thats IT,he doesnt do much of anything with our son and seldom even does anything with us,but hes always giving helping hands to anyone in need of help,everyone tells me how lucky i am to have such a good hearted great man,but i cant get anything from him seems like.........................

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on May. 14, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • 26 years is intense........... my initial thought was OK so leave him at least your kids are grown and can handle it. Then I read that you have a little one. ... Complicated indeed. Here's a BUMP and I hope things can turn around for you.
    hibbingmom

    Answer by hibbingmom at 10:57 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • wow if i didnt know better i'd say you were my mother. my step dad has 5 kids to other women and doesnt see any of them. he has an excessive gambling problem. he does nothing for her. i think they both would be so much happier if she left him a long time ago. when she had her breakdown, i was the one that took her to the hospital and kept tabs on her after she was released. YOU need to be happy.
    ThatBoysMom

    Answer by ThatBoysMom at 11:02 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • My x used to say if I don't tell him he doesn't know what I need/want. Tell him what you want from him. Plan a family night or a "WE" night
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:21 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • My husband and I have been married 28 yrs and have had the empty nest syndrome for approx. a year, lol Kids are gone and we stare at each other. Funny how when you're young before kids you have everything in common, then the kids enter the picture and you live vicariously through them, kids leave and you realize how much each of you have changed, lol We've gotten used to it now but it took a while. I kind of like my peace and quiet and space when I come home from work. Hang in there, it's worth it!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 11:25 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I was going to answer, but I think Kathy675 said it best. You've got that many years together, don't waste it!
    m-avi

    Answer by m-avi at 11:45 PM on May. 14, 2011

  • I agree with admeckenzie. We as women assume men can read our minds and know what we need or want. You should reach out to him, he probably feels the way you do on some level. When my dh and I were having issues, I thought about our early days, remembering why I fell on love with him. It helped so much working through things. We both have changed so much, but we're still basically the same people. I made the initial efforts to turn things around and to reach out to him. He responded to my actions. Give him a chance to change.
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 9:49 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • Start loving him
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 2:33 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Sounds like he is in a deep comfort zone with you and knows you are not going anywhere and is ok with the situation you are in, and if he don't know whats bothering you he will continue on until you tell him, never let it go or build up where it gets really bad then your really in trouble.
    Talk to him you know him better than anyone else and see what he says....sometimes I tell my husband hey wheres my hug or kiss you haven't did it in awhile what's going on, are you tired of me or what.....men are slow so we as women need to talk to them where they understand but don't fuss or argue at them...it has worked for me so far...knock on wood...
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 2:53 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I was married to a man for over 25 years and we grew apart and we both regret the decision to divorce but we have both moved on but try to get back into the marriage and start loving him all over again, if the love is there - it will come back.
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 4:47 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • really ? it took you 26 years to figure that out wow that insane lol
    alliep2011

    Answer by alliep2011 at 5:04 PM on May. 15, 2011

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