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The bean dip method and assert myself method didn't work. What else you got?

I have asked this question before kind of but now it's gotten more complicated. I don't want a VBAC period end of story, no not even a little. My Mother wants me to have one,my MIL wants me to have one ,it is going to be hell when it gets out to the rest of the family and now my husband is basically insisting that I give it a shot. I don't want to breastfeed and I told my Mother that and she was basically crying and my MIL keeps I guess without meaning to suggesting that my son is not a completely normal baby because he's formula fed.

How do you even begin to stand up to all these people let alone my husband? I need productive answers for someone who is painfully shy and horribly hormonal because this is really complicated for me.

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Asked by lizziebreath at 1:12 AM on May. 15, 2011 in Pregnancy

Level 19 (6,846 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • well the VBAC one would be easy - there is tons of info out there about the dangers to mother and fetus just google it. and give it to them. I would never do a VBAC either - i've seen the horrible consequences. It's your body and your choice. talk with your doctor about it and then tell them that your doctor doesn't believe you are a good candidate and the risks out weigh the benefits in your case - they can't argue with that. the breastfeeding thing well just don't start it - its not like they are gonna rip your shirt off and put the kid on right. just avoid these topics and change the subject when it comes up

    Answer by nurse_maya at 1:23 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • i might not agree with you, but it's YOUR decision, not mine. your mother, your mil, AND your husband need to respect your wishes. you are doing what you feel is right and best for your body, and your baby. if the hubby wants it otherwise, he can push the kid out himself. you know you can opt out of everyone (including him!) being in the L&D room. don't let them stress you out.
    my dh made the labor process very stressful on me for my last pregnancy. he was convinced everything was going to go wrong, even though i had a very normal, low-risk pregnancy. i was a little late, and he kept pushing induction. trust me when i say the last thing you need is a stressful delivery. just tell everyone that you've made your decision, and that's that. good luck!!

    Answer by AngryBob at 2:05 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • Same boat as AngryBob. I am very anti c-section unless absolutely medically necessary, but this is YOUR birth, not theirs. I would simply explain to them your reasons for wanting it this way. If you are afraid of the dangers of delivering vaginally after having major abdominal surgery then that should be the only explanation you need to give. As with your husband- sit him down and talk with him maybe even starting with "I don't really feel like you are being supportive of me".

    Good luck and I'm sending you all the best.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 8:39 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • I agree with AngryBob and meandrphoto. It is your body and your decisions. Only you can know what is best for your mental and physical health and that of your children. You can tell family that they need to either learn to be supportive of your decisions or discontinue communication until they're willing to be supportive. You can tell your DH that he needs to be supportive of you and your decisions and that, as your DH, he needs to stand up for you in regards to his family. Tell him the stress is not good for your baby. Just because Michelle Duggar had 13 successful VBACs and breastfed most of her 19 children doesn't mean that you have to. :)

    Answer by AmourSpork at 10:48 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • Simply say "I understand your opinion. Thank you for caring about me enough to share your opinion with me. I do not share the same opinion, but I appreciate yours."

    Then change the topic. Or leave the room if they won't let it drop. (I call this the "Avoidance Method."!)

    Answer by GoodyBrook at 9:42 PM on May. 15, 2011

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