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2 Bumps

Porn over me? adult content

i have been married for almost 10 years. our relationship has been pretty good, but it has come to my attention this weekend that my husband is staying up and watching porn after i am asleep. he watches tv with me, then gets up goes in the other room and entertains himself. he has not asked for sex in a while, and i never turn him down, occasionally he turns me down. i do not have an issue with porn, but i feel hurt because i feel like he has chose it over me. any advise? should i wait a little longer and see if this is just a spell or if it continues?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 AM on May. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • I would talk to him about it if you are feeling like he is replacing you with porn and see what he says. I think almost all guys look at porn so it probally has nothing to do with you but i would still ask him and let him know why it is bothering you.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 7:50 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • In cases like this, porn becomes a problem. Porn should never push the wife/SO into the back seat. Talk to him, don't scream, yell, or cry just talk to him and let him know how you are feeling. Do not play the blame game though because it will cause a fight that will only make things worse. I feel for you hun and these situations are never easy....
    kitchenwitch78

    Answer by kitchenwitch78 at 8:08 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • If it were me, I would ask him what draws him to it. Maybe it is the idea of something he would like to try with you. If so, maybe it would be something to bring the 'spice' back in the bedroom. ;)
    daisypetals2000

    Answer by daisypetals2000 at 8:25 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • I agree with daisypetals, maybe he wants to try something new with you but is scared to ask. You should just let him know (if that is the case) that you are open to trying new things with him. But if you are feeling ignored the least you could do is let him know you are feeling that way. I am with you that I am not against porn, but it should not take away from what we have in the bedroom.
    boshs1andonly

    Answer by boshs1andonly at 8:46 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • My dh would be talking to a crying mess.
    I do think you need to confront him about because this could ruin your marriage.
    Octobersmom

    Answer by Octobersmom at 12:01 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I agree with bosh and daisy.

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 12:03 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Its not easy to choose the right decision What can you do?
    GlitteribonMom

    Answer by GlitteribonMom at 2:24 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I would tell him you are going to find pictures and videos of hot and sexy men to fulfill all your sexual needs from now on, you don't need a real person anymore. See how he likes it.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:08 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • It depends on if this porn watching is turning into an addiction.
    PatriciaofMN

    Answer by PatriciaofMN at 4:37 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • very helpful advice. i have not noticed it until recently, so i do not know how long it has been going on. i always thought that he would approach me if he wanted to try something new, but now not so sure. i know that he has put on some weight and it bothers him, could it be a body image thing?
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:04 PM on May. 15, 2011

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