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How can I get my husband to help out more?

My husband is lazy. I understand that he works full time but I work part time & take care of our son from morning until bedtime. Even after our son is asleep I have the monitor & am the one that goes and checks on him. If he wakes up in the middle of the night I go to him. I do all of the cooking cleaning and laundry on top of working 3 night shifts Friday - Sunday. I think my husband should at least get up with our son on Saturday & Sunday mornings. I am not a lazy person its not like I would sleep all day like he does. ( He slept until 1pm yesterday.)
I really just want a little help. I am feeling very unappreciated and I am starting to resent him. He cant even make sure he hangs a wet towel or puts his socks in the hamper. & forget any kind of "Man" jobs such as hanging shelves or mowing grass. I have tried everything. I have tried explaining my feeling, I have also tried getting really mad & yelling & I have tried ignoring him. But I am at my breaking point. I really feel like I am gonna loose it. He constantly puts his needs before mine. I feel like a door mat. What can I do??

Answer Question
 
MatthewsMomma02

Asked by MatthewsMomma02 at 9:21 AM on May. 15, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Tell him what you want him to do. Give him a list. Make a clear that if he doesn't do those things they won't get done...
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 9:27 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • Tell him you need him to help you with the housework and that whatever doesn't get picked up and put away is gonna get thrown out the next time you clean the house. Then you have to follow through with it - start throwing things away - I'm talking everything. If he gripes about it, tell him "Look, I asked you to pick up your things and you didn't. I told you it was going to get thrown out and it did." treat him like a child if he wants to act like one.

    Yes, I have thrown out a lot of stuff because it was all left on the floor and after asking many times for help picking up, I finally just started getting rid of it all. My husband will sarcastically ask "What did you throw it away?" if he can't find something and I always just say "Maybe...."
    Pollymom

    Answer by Pollymom at 10:31 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • Or if you don't want to be mean like me and throw stuff away...just start putting all the things he leaves laying around the house in a box and toss it all in the garage. Pretty soon he'll wonder where all his stuff is.
    Pollymom

    Answer by Pollymom at 10:33 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • OK when you first got in a relationship with your DH was he like that or did you baby him because you loved him and wanted to do those things for him?which is perfectly OK I'm just asking you did you create the monster your talking about or was he already created by his mommy? just talk to him when your not angry or upsetand tell him that you need help and give him a few things to start helping you with try not to overwhelm him just pick up after yourself to start with add to the list one or 2 things every week until you feel balanced....  it also helps  if you say DH can you help me with this and both of you do it together that way he has you to guide him through things sometimes our DH's don't help because they don't even know where to begin...

    traren

    Answer by traren at 11:43 AM on May. 15, 2011

  • #1 if he puts doesn't put his clothes in the hamper DON"T wash them.. Leave the house to a friends once or twice a week, leaving the child with dad let him know ok I'm going I'll be back later you & your sons name have fun.. Don't give him a choice just go.
    find someone else to do the "man" job & give your hubby the bill.. when he starts to complain explain why you are doing all of these things. i also suggest marriage counseling..
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 12:27 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Girl I feel you,,,when you figure that one out, let me know....Mine gets so mad at me when i ask him to do anything for me...I dont work but I would love to..He wants me to be a stay at home slave and im tired of it too..he wont even change his sons diaper, or pick up his dirty clothes , make his own plate or even move it from the table.............So good luck ,,i know how hard it is .
    momofmonsters27

    Answer by momofmonsters27 at 11:31 PM on May. 15, 2011

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