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How can I get him to leave me alone???

Involved with a married man but I want to end it with him. I had rejoined church and then met him. But found out he was married, and to add on to it I know who his wife is!!! I don’t really know her, know her but I’ve seen her at church speak and that’s it. We both talked about leaving each other alone but he want let it go. I had some people that know about our relationship and they told me that the way he act he is not going to let you go that easy. I tried to avoid him all I can, but he will show up hiding trying his best to still talk to me. I still have feelings for him but if he would just let me be I’ll be okay. I have been visiting other churches but I want to be settled in one place. I want to be able to go back to the church I joined but I feel so bad about being involved with my sister’s husband. Even though we haven’t held long conversations she is still my sister in Christ!!! The question is how I really let him know to leave me alone!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 12:44 AM on Jul. 11, 2008 in Religion & Beliefs

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • Talk to the pastor at that church who will have a talk with him in private and he should leave you alone after that.

    Answer by vbruno at 12:48 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • So you started seeing him and then you found out he's married and now you want to end it right because he is married? Smart choice I would threaten to tell his wife if he won't leave you alone, tell him you are no longer interested in what he says or ties to offer and make him feel shameful for what he has done!

    Answer by JustinScottsMom at 12:47 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • I would tell him you are no longer interested and i would also have a talk with the pastor of the church, like vbruno said. Dont let this push you away from the church, but whatever you do, make sure you dont give in and continue this relationship with him.

    Answer by Cmyfantasyworld at 12:52 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • He obviously doesn't understand you when you tell him to leave you alone. Maybe the way you are telling him isn't stern enough. It isn't fair for you to have to leave your Church and it definately isn't fair for his wife to be in the dark. He, being a church member and Christian, should really know what he is doing is a sin...maybe you should talk to the pastor so he can help him see that. I would definately not see or talk to him again, especially not alone, regarless of how you feel or what he says.

    Answer by Susan0976 at 1:03 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Go have a talk with your pastor - he will keep this confidential. Plus, confessing may make you feel better. Ask him to have a talk with the guy, too.

    Answer by lawmom623 at 9:44 AM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • I think you should go to the pastor or elders. If he is in your congregation it is scriptural for you to approach him yourself, if he won't listen go to him with someone else (maybe the women's ministry leader, pastor's wife or elders's spouse) and if he still won't listen go with more people, then brought before the church and finally excommunicated. I think it RARELY gets to that though.
    I think you need help in getting through to him though!

    Answer by pwfaith at 2:04 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • if you tell him to leave you alone cause you dont want to be involved with a married man - and he doesnt leave you alone than threaten to tell his wife that he is not leaving you alone and gettin propositions like this from a married man is upsetting you

    Answer by vakatia at 3:40 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • Are you really trying to get him to leave you alone? Because if you are continuing to go to the same church he goes to as well as his wife goes to, that isn't a very strong statement to me. Are you still answering his phone calls? Stop. Are you calling him? Don't! Find a new church, move acrossed town if you need to, change your phone number. You are not responsible for him, but you are very much responsible to God for yourself. Do whatever you possibly can to get away from this guy. I would not, however, threaten him in any way. That's not very Christian is it?

    Answer by feesharose at 4:21 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • He do not go to the church at all. But I got to agree I have not really put my foot down like I should I guess because of a little fear. To be honest I never thought he would act like this at all, But this is what happens when your disobediant. But I did say I was going to bring this to the attention of the pastor and first lady so they could have a one on one with him. And hopefully he will see how serious I am about it, cause I don't want his wife to find out but if it keeps going she will find out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jul. 11, 2008

  • I would invite the pastor over for sunday dinner as well as the married man's wife then invite him without him knowing they were coming. Let him walk in and explain to them why he is there. I'd keep a throw rug by the door in case he wets himself when he sees them both there. I personally have no problem telling a wife to help me get a man to leave me alone. When I say No I mean No and if he won't listen then by golly his wife will. I never have had a guy doubt me and they do leave me alone after that.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:38 AM on Jul. 12, 2008