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Just out of curiosity , why can't men and women be friends even tho they are married to others? I have seen this question so many times asked differently.

I have seen it as a question asked if my husband was friends with someone at work, what should I do? I work, and also have friends that are male, but, it doesn't bother my husband and it doesn't bother me that he has friends that are female. Just because someone is of a different gender, are people not allowed to be friends with everyone, male or female? Why does it bother people soooo much? I guess thats the part I am wondering about.If you have a good marriage, can't you have friends of the opposite sex without flipping out on husband/wife? If you don't think its a good idea, tell me WHY . Be 100 % honest and anonymous if you want too.Do you trust your SO to have different friends?Doesn't matter if the other person is married or not, either.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:56 AM on Dec. 6, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • For me it's situational. For instance, when we first got married he invited this "friend" to our wedding. While at our wedding this friend had said some odd things to me (she was saying how lucky I was to marry him, but she took it a little too far ya know?), then a few months later DH lets me know that he slept with her a few times. At that point I just kind of let it go because they hardly talked to each other. But then out of nowhere she started calling him all the time - turns out she broke up with her boyfriend and was talking to DH about it. I told him that it wasn't appropriate and that he shouldn't be friends with her. (Also because she was using drugs, harassing her ex-boyfriend, and all sorts of other crap.)

    But he's got a girl that he worked with that he still talks to a couple times a week. I don't mind her... in fact I kinda like her.
    melamommy24

    Answer by melamommy24 at 7:12 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I think that when people ask these questions, then their marriages aren't 100% ok. That makes it really difficult to think that your spouse is turning to another woman for anything (friendship, advice, etc). Don't judge these women and just call them jealous and overbearing. They all have their reasons for being uncomfortable.
    Kimebs

    Answer by Kimebs at 7:19 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • My husband and I have opposite gender friends. It doesn't bother either one of us. I tell my guy friends I love them (and I do, they are like family to me) and he does the same (for the same reasons) to his female friends.

    Heck I've even encouraged him to get in contact with his ex because he had a really good relationship with her kids and he misses them!

    I guess it all depends on your level of security in your relationship.
    Xynyth

    Answer by Xynyth at 7:28 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • I think your question has more to do with security in the relationship than it has to do with friendships. I've seen people go nuts over relationships that their SO has with relatives.
    I also think I'd have no friends if my girlfriends freaked out about me being friends with their husbands and boyfriends. My friend's know I am not interested in their men and they know that we hang out together sometimes. During gift giving times like birthdays and christmas, my friends will ask me if their SO has mentioned anything he wants. I also have no problem with my girlfriends being friends with my SO.
    PrttyMstng

    Answer by PrttyMstng at 7:42 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • KIMEBS,I don't think anyone was called overbearing and I don't think anyone was judged at all. You need to re-read the question if thats what you got out of it. It was due to another question that this one was asked. Like the above says, it depends on the security of your marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • It's all about being insecure. And very very possesive. Treating her man like she is his mother not his wife.
    Chrissy629

    Answer by Chrissy629 at 8:14 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Because you never know what another girl will do with your man. I'm being honest- I like Randalls friends but some of em, I watch like a hawk and they know about it...There are just some girls that have a problem keeping their legs closed and hands off.
    MommaWoods

    Answer by MommaWoods at 8:59 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • It depends on how "friendly" your significant other is with the opposite sex friend! It's one thing to be friends with another couple, but if your SO wants to hang out with a "friend" of the opposite sex WITHOUT you, then there IS a problem.

    As my husband so "delicately" puts it...Men are only friends with women if there is the SLIGHTEST possibility that there's a certain something in it for them...otherwise, they're gay! LOL The same goes for women with male friends--just look at Madonna and A-Rod.
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:54 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • Oh, and by the way, the ONLY male friends I have ARE gay! LOL
    LoriKeet

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:57 AM on Dec. 6, 2008

  • WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE IN COMMON WHAT WOULD THEY HAVE TO TALK ABOUT ? WHAT IF THEY GET DRUNK TOGETHER WHY DOESN'T SHE WANT TO MEET THE WIFE ? WHAT IF SHE LOOKS BETTER THAN THE WIFE ?WHAT IF HE WONT LET HER HAVE MALE FRIENDS ?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Dec. 6, 2008

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