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10 Bumps

I cheated on bf, now what I'm to do?

I ended up cheating on my fiance with a friend. We ended up drinking together and things just got out of hand. I really thought I could control my drinking this time, since I drank with this friend before and didn't have sex with him at all. I told my fiance and afraid he's gonna break up with me. It was a fucken mistake and realize I can not drink after, even casally because I'm gonna want more alcohol and will be drunk eventually again. I need to go attend AA meetings and find other ways to cope in a healthy way. I know I have to not be friends with this friend either, because I ended up becoming emotionally closer to him then own my boyfriend. I know I must reach out to other women instead.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:03 PM on May. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (30)
  • If you know you have a problem the first thing you should probably do is go to an AA meeting and stop drinking if you want to show your bf that you are serious. You can't blame him for not trusting you- it will probably be a long process to earn his trust back.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 12:08 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • If you are going to go out and get drunk AND make bad choices then you are right you do need to attend AA. You also need to explain to you DF that this is a problem you are aware you need to work on and I personally recommend that if he does continue the courtship that you hold off the marriage until you AA sponsor feels you are ready to deal with those challenges with out drinking.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I would get some help with drinking but I would also figure out why you cheated and what is missing from your relationship or if it is the one for you?
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 12:13 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • i just have a few questions ! 1.why were you drinking in the first place without your bf? 2.why cant you controll yourself how old are you?
    3.why didn't you think about all this before you did it? and 4.move on cause you now good and well men can't forgive us like we do them
    alliep2011

    Answer by alliep2011 at 12:13 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I'm sorry, but drinking is NOT an excuse. Didn't you realize that once you go more emotionally attatched to your friend than fiance that it was time to stop hanging out with him? I don't mean to be so harsh, but it could have been prevented from the beginning. I wish you luck with your fiance...I hope for your sake he is able to forgive you. But as I said before, do not use drinking as an excuse...you had to have known what you were doing when it happened and should have had some self control.
    amber1330

    Answer by amber1330 at 12:14 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Yes you need help. you also need to evaulate why you became more emotionally involved with your friend then your DF.... that would be a big red flag in your relationship with your DF.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 12:16 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • 1. Me and my fiance are in a long distance relationship. 2. I usually controled my drinking and my age does not matter, 3. I just wanted to drink and talk to somebody who made me feel better.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:16 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I agree with AA. If you are drinking even if it is with someone it sounds like you are self medicating. You have one drink to feel better then you have another then another then another until you drown out all you problems. The feeling of being stress free is like a drug and you want to do it often. AA will be able to help you cope, stop drinking to self medicate and point you in the right direction as to hoe to safely deal with whatever stress you are trying to escape.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:17 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Wait is this the guy away in the army or something? ive heard this question,and the guy you slept with was a close friend right?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:18 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • As Amber said....drinking is NO excuse. At some point you HAD to know what was going on and you COULD have stopped it. As for the long distance relationship......if you could cheat then the you DF didn't mean enough to keep you loyal to him.
    how_reb

    Answer by how_reb at 12:19 PM on May. 15, 2011

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