Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

10 Bumps

He's making ME say it....should I be upset?

Okay...I'm 8 months pregnant and I've been telling DH for the last several months that I did not want his mother and grandmother in the delivery room with us, but that yeah..MY mama WOULD be in there...he's just kept saying "I know you'll do the right thing"

So anyways I have like 32 days left of this pregnancy so last night we were talking and I tell him..you know that I know there isnt really a good time to ask you this but do your mom and grandma know that they won't be in the delivery room? Because I don't want to have any issues or misunderstanding when that day comes...he tells me that he thinks it's unfair that MY mom is allowed in there but his isnt. I don't want to say that his feelings arent valid because I know that they are but...it's not like this is new information, I've been saying it for months...so I just tell him that sometimes things just arent going to be fair...it's my body, my legs are going to be all gaped open and I just don't want them in there. Period. So he tells me that we can go to his moms house together on Tuesday and I can explain to them why I don't want them in there...

At first I was fine with that, but the more I think about it, the less fine I am with it...why should I be required to explain myself? It's my body, it's my day and I have a say on who gets to see my coochie...his mom and grandma ARE NOT on that list...I said all that to him and he tells me "then you shouldnt have a problem explaining that" and he changes the subject....

Should I be upset about him requiring ME to tell his family why I don't want them in the delivery room? I feel a little upset about it but I'm not sure if my anger is valid or not and wanted some opinions. I just ask that you please not bash my husband. He's a good man, we're just not seeing eye to eye on this issue. Thanx ladies =)

 
Lucky209

Asked by Lucky209 at 12:37 PM on May. 15, 2011 in Relationships

Level 28 (35,060 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (54)
  • I actually agree that maybe it should just be the two of you in the room. Once the baby is born and you and DH have had a few min to bond everyone can come in and visit... I don't guess there is a wrong way to go but you and DH should agree... If your only concern with MIL being in the room is her seeing you... She could stay at your head... It is totally up to you though and the nurses will make sure your wishes are respected.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 12:56 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Since your husband doesn't have the guts to tell them, talk to your doctor about your concern. I believe the labor and delivery nurses will referee for you.

    Good luck!
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 12:43 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • My daughter just had our first grandchild in august and she had the same issues. Her boyfriends family wanted to make a party out of it because thats what they do. They wanted his mom, sisters, there husbands, me and my husband. She wanted no one but me (im her mom) an her boyfriend. They were mad and didnt understand. I was only in there because she needed someone who could coach her and calm her and she said he couldnt do it. I told her from the get go that the birth of the baby should be her and the dad only. Its your moment its your baby and its time you should spend just the two of you. I was there when the baby was born because she needed me but once he was born I stepped out and let them be alone. It is NOT up to you it should be him telling them. She is your mom and if you need her then she should be there. His mom is not your mom. good luck
    desperateat48

    Answer by desperateat48 at 1:01 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I would not explain it to them I would just tell them that you do not want them in the room until after the baby is born. They have been there done that I am sure they can figure it out. As for how your husband is acting he needs to grow up about it.
    Alanaplus3

    Answer by Alanaplus3 at 12:41 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I would take control of this situation right now and call them at this very moment and tell them. Remind them that you love them but it is a question of modesty. Then your man can stop this child like/passive aggressive behaivor now and you both can concentrate on your baby's birth without all this foolishness. He is probably a good man otherwise, man just get wierd about their momma's sometimes.
    ochsamom

    Answer by ochsamom at 12:43 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Just take the easy road and tell your doctors and nurses who you want in the room. They will be HAPPY to kick anyone else out:)
    BetcCarter

    Answer by BetcCarter at 1:17 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Why on earth would YOU have  to be the one to say it? Does he want to you set up a visit with your family afterward to tell them that he doesn't want to expose his penis and butt hole to them during his most vunerable hours?


    Prepare yourself. He's going to try to pressure you into letting them in. That's why he's putting it all on you, and why he wants you to tell them in person. He may even be setting it up so that they can gang up on you too. I would nip that in the bud by calling them up right away and asking if (husband name) led them to believe that you invited them into the delivery room and make sure they know that's not the case.

    Lornamay

    Answer by Lornamay at 2:16 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • me being naked was nothing he hadn't seen before (he had never seen me and i blew up telling the to get out now) to this day they still call me a b!tch for that moment i'm sorry you have to go through this and if your husband won't stick up for you talk to the nurses i promise you they will not get in mine were dead serious about body checking her (it actually almost came to that a few times) good luck and remember if they get mad that's their issue don't let anyone ruin your extremely precious day
    krissii

    Answer by krissii at 8:15 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I wouldn't explain it to them. Just tell them they can see the baby after he/she is born in the nursery. If they mention being in the delivery room just say NO.
    meooma

    Answer by meooma at 12:44 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • He doesnt have to tell them. It is your decisions because it is your body that is going to be hanging all over. I would tell them you are sorry but the only person you want in the room is your mom. And explain exactly why.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:49 PM on May. 15, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN