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3 Bumps

Would you help him out if it were your brother? What about her though?

My brother has 2 girls that are 4 and 6. His wife is a stay at home mom and doesn't do much. He usually cooks dinner (good stuff too) and when she does it's always processed microwave foods. I work 2nd shift and he wants me to help him clean. I am tired. I told him I will but am very irritated that it is getting her out of it. My niece has asthma so I want to make sure the animals are properly cleaned up after (pet hair etc). I'd rather take the kids for the day and let them do it together but he said "we'll get it done quicker." She moves so slow and ends up just wandering around and disappearing or all of a sudden she wants to give the kids a bath or call her sister... ugh! She makes the kids dress themselves and walk around in clothes that are too big or tight because they are the sisters clothes. I just want to smack her and tell her to get her shit together. She wanted more kids and he got fixed without her "permission." She has been lazy since they met but all of a sudden it's too much for him (working overtime) and she's all for show so not many people know it. He says she's not depressed...


Asked by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on May. 15, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • she needs to get off her butt and do something. how unfair of her that she makes her husband do everything and isn't taking care of the kids.
    I might go there and help but the whole time i would be letting her know that it isn't your place to be doing this while she is sitting on her butt.

    Answer by jenn4443 at 1:18 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • Kind of sounds like PPD or another form of depression? I would just tell him 'Sorry my offer still stand to take the kids for the day but I am not cleaning for you'

    Answer by BetcCarter at 1:20 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I would help my brother, and encourage him to find a good divorce attorney.

    Answer by scout_mom at 1:18 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • There is no way in HELL I would clean her house.

    However, I think your offer of watching the kids is wonderful. He needs to give his wife a good kick in the ass and get her off her butt.. that is just horrid.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:29 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • How does he know if she is depressed or not? He isn't in her head? Besides for all we know he could be the main source of her depression?

    His wife is a stay at home mom and doesn't do much

    I'm not a stay at home mom but i am a single mom and i can not agree with that statement!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I have my own house to clean. Brother or not I would not clean his house too. Whatever her problem is, his WIFE needs to get off her @$$ and get her priorities straightened out.

    I would however, like you have, offer to watch the kids so they can clean together without kidus interruptus.

    Answer by Rosehawk at 1:51 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • i would let the offer stand to watch the kids and i would encourage my brother to have a very serious heart to heart talk with his wife.....she is either lazy/depressed or just doesnt give a flying leap......which ever it is they need to figure it out and either hire a maid/cleaning service , get a divorce or she need couseling.......

    Answer by cara124 at 2:14 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I am sorry but I mean it when I say she does not do much. She had a yardsale that my brother and father sat up for her and then she never took it down. It rained that night and what was left all got ruined. She will wash clothes but she leaves them piled in baskets until they are all over the floor. The cats end up sleeping on them and they get all hairy. She wants to make crafty crap all day and look through catalogs. She might do dishes 2 days a week.... I know he isnt real happy. He was caught looking at online porn and she gave him heck for it. He made it sound as if he was ready to just leave when all that happened. That was about 4 months ago. I dont know if she is depressed but I'll tell you she sure is a hell of a drama queen. I avoid her and she don't even seem to care so I hate to think about how much of a load this takes off of her shoulders.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:35 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • She needs help and its good he has you to turn to for help maybe he should toss her to the curb. Too hard to have to work so hard and then come home and keep working.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 3:03 PM on May. 15, 2011

  • I wouldn't help him clean. I would suggest that he remind her that she's a stay-at-home mom/wife and she's not doing her job! If she's unhappy with her position she should get a job outside of the home to take some of the burden off of him so he can find time to clean the house! Or find a good divorce attorney! Since he's doing it all anyway, he might as well have to take the burden of feeding/clothing her out of the equation too!

    Answer by AnGLInterrupted at 3:15 PM on May. 15, 2011